Season of Love

It’s again, the season of love…
A gift from our Father above…
A time to celebrate Jesus’ miracle birth…
A joyful day, for all the earth…

It’s again, the season of love…
A time to straighten those who curved…
To offer water to those who thirsts…
To bring redemption from sin and death’s cruel curse…

It’s again, the season of love…
Made available by the Master who serve…
He wasn't spared; His blood drenched the earth…
Hung on the tree, life slipping through His pain stricken nerves…

It’s again, the season of love…
He is sinless, ranks high above…

But He humbled Himself to this lowly sinful turf…

He was made sinful, bearing our Curse…

It’s again, the season of love…
Let’s not forget through Him all is made of its worth…
Through His blood He broke the Curse…
Through His death to the Church He gave its birth…

It’s again, the season of love…
He first loves us thus we love…
So now let’s hold hands together, and spread His love…
For we must never forget; God is Love!!

It’s again, THE SEASON OF LOVE!!

-Bornion Crusader-

Season of Love!!

Tagging Along...

I know this is stupid, don't tell me but it is. I don't know why I do it but there it is. It's so small that I have to keep magnifying the picture, and I can't even tell if it's a cat with 5 legs and no tail or a cat with no legs and 5 tails. DARN I forgot about the eyes also (a curse??) and the whiskers is totally out of place. I think the first one on the right is floating. Well, not bad for my first tag. Thanks to my drawing skills, I came across a new species of cat. Maybe I should give it a name. *Neesemese Cat* How does it sound??

P.S. By far this is the hardest struggle I have in my "electronical" life; drawing a cat on my laptop. I wonder what's more yet to come?

-Bornion Crusader-

My Father, Friend and King...

I came across this little poem that i suspect to be a song lyric, and guess what, I was right. It's the song "Ocean Soul" by Nightwish from their album Century Child.

One more night

To bear this nightmare

What more do I have to say

Crying for me was never worth a tear

My lonely soul is only filled with fear

Long hours of loneliness

Between me and the sea

Losing emotion

Finding devotion

Should I dress in white and search the sea

As I always wished to be - one with the waves

Ocean Soul

Walking the tideline

I hear your nameIs angels whispering

Something so beautiful it hurts

Long hours of loneliness

Between me and the seaI only wished to become something beautiful

Through my music, through my silent devotion

I was kinda disappointed, after checking through their background. They held on to certain ideas in their songs that I can't readily accept. Plus their genre is "metal", not quite my taste. I was interested that song because of their poetical elements in the song "Ocean Soul". Too bad it greatly reflects the human disappointment of ever exisiting loneliness. It is such a sad song, yet true. But this is because the world has yet to experience God's love, the Love that Jesus bears to us.

The feel just came and i wrote a poem to counter the song "Ocean Soul". :P

Day by day…
By my side you would always stay…
What could I ask for,
What else could I pray?

Now I know in every tear I shed…
In every expectation unmet…
In my tears your shoulder is the one that’s drenched wet…
It doesn’t matter for what reason I was sad…
Or what I did was something bad…
Your love shines through it;
It’s your strength that I tap…

Walking alongside down the beach…
You are ever within reach…
Sometimes we may be whispering…
But I know,
Your grace is for me to sing…
If my life is a drawing,
Your love would be its paint and ink…
Through my music and praises my lips sing…
My life for you,
My Friend, Father and King…

It really makes all the difference. Experiencing God's love doesn't free us from pain and death. Rather we can embrace them with the confident that God is in control, even over them. Jesus' death on the cross has also made those who believe die along with it; Jesus' resurection from death has also made those who believe arise again, died to our sin, born into the glory of Christ.

Anyway...It's the Season of Love!!

Sometimes Cupid Can Also Bite!!

It was just a stare…
Crept in a feeling so rare…
Falling back into infatuation’s cruel lair…
This time around how well would I fare??
To God I pray a silent plea…
Could she be the one for me??
So I tread on slowly…
Around her I tried to be…
But that wasn’t at all easy…
I was shy I guess…
And almost made it a total mess…
It dented my confidence…
I am nowhere near to be a Jason!!
The Golden Fleece is out of reach…
Its defenses are too strong to breach…
By sympathy I survive the feat…
But not without the casualty of my fleets…
It was a worthless effort,
Or even a foolish run…
For it was already won by one…
My efforts are again in vain…
And I reared silently in pain…
My turn is still yet to come…
For now it is best to remain calm…
Till another Fleece is in sight…
And fight my way through to reach its side…
Oh hell, now i know…
Sometimes Cupid can also bite!!

-Bornion Crusader-

A Reflection of the Recent Yesterdays...

Standing in midst of multitude…
Thus starts a new prelude…
With some secret expectations...
I took the first step into this sticky situation…
Havoc struck well before I could find my footing…
So many qualities in me are found wanting…
A group was there in need for me to lead…
Silently inside to God I pleaded…
Please get me out of this shit!!

The group was a big real mess…
We had perverts so as muich as pests…
Nothing ever seems correct…
No solid grounds for me to tread…
Life seems to be at the gloomiest…
A little more in tears, I would burst…

But then things turn for the better…
As we get to know one other…
Things start to move and ideas flow…
We are becoming somewhat a big bang blow…
Though it turned out to be an all time low…
I think we had fun; and together had some row…
We learned to accept the good and bad…
As well as the normal and the mad…
I couldn’t be more proud and happy for them…
They gave it all and with love stood firm…

But then time flew swiftly among our midst…
Leaving the good memories behind and we are to take our leave…
So in sadness and with a little grief…
Tears soak onto our sleeves…
We parted ways, sad yet gay…
For it was a time worthy of remembrance, day after day…
How much would I give to be with them again…
Hopefully our friendship would blossom,

And never be in vain..

-Bornion Crusader-

Group Matang

"Matang Konon..."

Me, Hubert and Joshua...looks like Do-Re-Mi lorr..a somewhat cruel reminder of my heigh...*sigh* :P

You would always be my friend..

I’ve loved, and am loved…
I’ve served, and am served…
I am for the trouble worth,
And sometimes those troubles get on people’s nerve…

I’ve hated, and being hated…
After all I’m a creation, something created…
From one to hundred, you tell me how much should I be rated…
Then I shall tell you, how much you are graded…

I’m imperfect, far from any forms of perfection…
So that is why I keep doing improvisations…
I seek to make the right choice at life’s complicated interjections…
Whereby roads lead to roads; how shall I make my selections??

I’m just another person…
Prone to pain and desperation…
Yet I can bring comfort and quell dissatisfaction…
If you would trust me in every situation…

All in all…
I can’t guarantee any friends that with me they would never fall…
But I can promise that I am always there whenever they give my name a call…
And they can always trust me, above all.

I don’t know about them, but here I make my stand…
My life is for a purpose, Love till the very end…
As how God love me, that’s how I to this world was sent…
Though things didn’t come through how I wished or plan…

I wish you all the best and you would always be my friend…

-Bornion Crusader-

Killing the Mockingbird

“It’s a sin to kill the mockingbird…
When it sings its heart out”…
Ask thyself, and see if thy worthy to stand among the clouds…
Shedding of innocent blood…
Is no trip around the roundabout…

Authorities play the Hunter’s Game…
While pricking on their prey…
Thinking that birds have no feelings;
Or do they?
Birds have no rights or have any say…
Picking their spot, picking their day…
To give the bird a courteous “Go away”…

Arming their rifles, taking their aim…
Thirst has set their hearts aflame…
Pulling the trigger, the bird flew astray…
It may not die, or it may…
But it doesn’t matter to them anyway…
They have disposed the bird standing in their way…

But the bird wasn’t a foolish one…
It knows; being the special hunt…
It is different from those under the sun…
Preferring the dark and shade, it was always on the run…
Plucking on olives rather than palms…
It was deemed to bring lesser goodness but more harm…

Sometimes its voice cause people to be adrenaline pumped…
Or in the mid day heat turbulent minds calmed…
It enjoys motivating people reaching what they want…
In return asked for nothing but some bread crumbs…
Or just some sweet plums…
As a payment for what it had sung…

Those who witness the murder…
Would scream in agony on top of their lungs…
For one had mercilessly suffered…
From the ferocious back stabbing tongues…
May it be a lesson or a reminder…
People are not disposables or mere junks…

For the next time around…
You might find yourself weighted, yet lesser by a pound…
Then you’ll realize your heart is hollowed; it is nowhere to be found…
You’ve traded your heart for a bullet round…
To shoot that mockingbird out of contention, out of bounds…

-Bornion Crusader-

Wonders...

At times we can’t help but wonder…
How God works in this world…
Among mess things seems to be in order….
Of things that look like mud muddle…
We might never know…
Beneath it there might be some gold…
At times we can’t help it but to stand in awe…
That we prostrate ourselves,
Or at His feet we fall…
I guess I went overboard…
I thought I’m so mighty and tall…
Sometimes with my earthly strength I fought…
Thus ending up banging against an invisible wall…
Most of the time I want it all…
But I overlooked; it doesn’t worth the pain…
My efforts end in vain…
Somehow or rather when I went too far…
He pulled some strings…
And I came back into the jar…
Things happens;
Both good and bad…
Sometimes I was happy…
At times sad…
When I get into trouble…
I thought I’m dead…
I deserve to live among the rubbles…
Or in an asylum among the mad…
But God has His own way…
To make the crooked straight…
He did something that in turn we may…
Reconcile with Him and spared from the fiery glade…
He took up the blame…
Withstanding the world’s cruel claim…
And bear the shame…
For the penalty of my transgressions…
And my ideological individualism…
He risks his reputation, dignity and life…
Took my place and paid the price…
Sometimes I look out afar…
And I saw Christ…
Living in people changing lives…
Telling people where the true treasure lies…
Instead of guessing, rolling the dice…
In the end of day,
I can’t help but sigh…
In ages of terror and insecurity…
Fear had long taken flight…
To my blind heart He gave sight…
My dark days had turn to bright…
I don’t deserve it…
Though I work for it with all I might…
For I know,
Wrong is wrong and the right is right…
I often take the guilt trip…
Going in rounds and sometimes slipped…
It often gives me the creeps…
But what I need is just to complete a simple deed…
Have faith and make the impossible leap…
In every obstacles and hardship…
It’s important to follow His lead…
Till one day I’m back to the crypts…
Rest in peace and enjoy my lasting sleep…
And find myself awake in paradise…
Looking around and realize…
Heaven is a gift; not a prize…
For He had long paid the price…
To bring me back home…
A place at its best and nice…

-Bornion Crusader-

Ask...

Sometimes things are just so lame…
Days seem to be just the very same…
Nothing’s changed; it all remains…
Ever running away from that pain…
That haunted me in vain…
But somehow; till now…
I’ve lost much,
Yet very little I gain…
Sometimes it’s a wonder how people remain sane…
In a world that is so insane….
In a life of choices…
Lane leads on to more lanes…
Whether if it is justified…
We are still to blame….
Seeking some intimacy,,,
We try to move out from the “safe territory”…
But sometimes it is out of courtesy …
That someone cheer for your bravery…
Which in truth is laughing at your stupidity…
Sometimes we thought of going for celibacy…
For love had hurt us deeply…
But then the urge for a company…
Tends to reignite the passion…
To dwell in this valley of no end…
Maybe it’s a law of nature…
Or just a mere popular trend…
That there’s woman every successful man…
And there are countless men…
Vying to support a woman by her hand…
Years may come…
And seasons passed…
But why,
Can’t a friendship last?
Some things are optional…
Some are a must…
Maybe it has been long in the past…
Some wouldn’t wait…
But some in miracles they trust…
Putting faith in the impossible..
Till the bodies disintegrate; turn to dust…
Slipping back into earth’s comfort crust…
It may not happen at all...
Maybe with a blast…
Let’s hope we can act wisely…
Not following just the gust…
Till then,
We will be answered if we ask…

-Bornion Crusader-

Life's Miracle Run...

Looking into the past…
Once problems as oceans vast…
Time flew very fast…
Faster than any doubt can cast…
I find myself falling from dust to dust…
Sometimes I doubt where is the god that I trust?
So many things, I thought they will last…
But things became unpredictable, it all happened in a blast…
Walking down life’s cruel path…
I end up soaking wet in bloody baths…
Terrains are rough and tough…
What’s more; I’m still in search of my other half…
Along the way I stumbled and flopped…
What I do best is watching others reaching the top…
My life is a blessed one, but it bears a curse…
I often help others, yet I myself am helpless…
I’m trying my best to quench this thirst…
But it seems things are getting worse…
If there is a love meant for me…
I want to have it fasta…
But God’s timing is something to obey I must…
On His love, I must place my trust…
If I am to love, I want to do it all I can…
And in being loved, I hope it will last to the very end…
And with love, I hope to find faith and hope…
Where three strands bind together, and form a rope…
May God render me grace and mercy…
Fill my heart which is hollow and empty…
But I shall bide his timing, and his will be done…
Not solely what I hope for and what I want…
May love one day to me He grant…
That someone will be my side, with me together…
End life’s miracle run…

-Bornion Crusader-

Do they love me?

I miss those days…
Whereby a child will go up to one and say,
“Let’s be friends, and everyday shall be our Friendship Day”…
I miss those days…
Whereby we sat down together and feast,
All of us with life so well please…
I miss those days…
Whereby we can share our happiness and grieves,
In good times as well as by temptation sifted…
I miss those days…
Whereby the sun never seems to set,
But it must; at some point, from the skies it fled…
I tried to love…
With all my heart, soul and spirit…
As how I am being love,
By my Father above…
I tried to set an example…
Being the salt and the light…
Nothing much changed and the changes are slight…
I tried to cater to all…
Help them up when they fall…
But haven’t they notice?
They are building nothing but walls…
I’m trying my best…
Completing God assigned personnel conquest…
Have I been bearing fruits?
I do not know…
But I am doing what I’m told…
“Love your neighbors, as well as your enemies”
I’ve loved them, and love them so…
I wonder,
DO THEY LOVE ME?
YES OR NO??

-Bornion Crusader-

The Journey...

It was quite a journey…
A trip to the world unknown…
None of us know for surely…
Where the leaves are blown…
With some linen we set out…
To seek a treasure high above the clouds…
Off we go, simply so we thought…
Driven by excitement purely…
With slippers and shorts…
Through rough terrains and all the pain…
Of thorns and leeches sucking blood in vain…
All in all, we rise and fall…
We reach the top, the last and lost…
Stood a magnificent waterfall…
Tears drooping mixed with sweat…
Our eyes on the destination set…
Something unexpected, unthinkable met…
But along darkness fear had us enwrapped…
We thought that doom might come and have us trapped…
On unknown terrain, no food and energy sapped…
Nor any weapon to make our defense…
Thunder came and the canopy’s too dense…
For once, the world doesn’t make any sense...
We make haste and ran down the path…
Which we went up with giggles and laugh…
But now with grim faces and weary looks…
It was nowhere near what we learn from the books…
From our lips we utter prayers…
Pleading protection and forgiveness…
Lest that anything happen…
For some remorse too sudden…
But alas…
His mercy comes with great abundance…
He is still our great Providence…
We reached safe and sound…
At the hot pools warmed ourselves one last round…
Making each penny worth each pound…
Before back home we make our way…
A way from where too far we strayed…
Thank God that everything price in advance Christ has paid…
For His life freely in the tomb He laid…
Lest one day “I want your life” He said…
I would certainly recall that very day…
Which my life was mercifully spared…
We stood amazed in the middle of nowhere…
Savoring a moment of awe we can never get…
Elsewhere…

-Bornion Crusader-

Out of today...

Love comes,
Love goes…
Before you can reap,
First you have to sow…
When there’s a high,
There’s also a low…
You have your love ones,
So as your foes…
Things get hot at times,
Sometimes you still feel cold…
Young you may have been,
But one day you’ll be old…
In your old age stories you will tell,
Just as how you were once told…
There are moments our eyes meet,
But we were also bound to split…
There are instances that make us bleed,
Of being lied to or cheat…
But we too had our hearts conceded,
Of which our life completes…
Just as been on honey feed,
In life love shall be our lead…
Let it be the light at your feet,
A guide to a tomorrow, better and sweet,
It is indeed painful being apart,
In body, soul and spirit…
But take up your stations and be on your guard,
Let not this precious gift of love sway further more than a yard…
Challenges may interfere and stand in between,
But if the love is pure and true you shall win…
He shall be your king,
And you his queen…
How long could you persevere?
An interesting question to ponder…
How long could you sustain?
In a future too uncertain to be sure…
But what is yet to come,
Its name is “tomorrow”…
What was and past,
We called it “yesterday”…
Since all we have is what was left,
Savor all you have and make the most…
Out of today…

-Bornion Crusader-

Making Decisions...

“Life’s about choices”…
Such a well said verse…
But each choice comes with each difference…
Whether it is a blessing or a curse…
It depends on your perception…
On how you decipher a condition…
It hunts everyone; there is no exception…
Every time we make a decision…
As an individual or as a whole…
Long it has been told…
We do not seek for our own benefits sole…
You may feel tired; and I know…
From giving out and feel not appreciated…
But whether it is accepted or rejected…
One party will feel appreciated; another dejected…
But let it not our commitment deducted…
In life it’s best not seeking to please others…
Rather strive to do the just and right…
So that we can stand up and might…
Face whatever trials and hardship and keep the light…
And bear in mind that we remain friends forever…
In my heart you hold the best interest ever…
On our path of life we shall seek the best solution…
For every single tricky situation…
To reach a mutual agreement…
And reach our final destination; everyone at their station…
With no exception…

-Bornion Crusader-

Spare me my solitude...

When I remain silence…
I don’t mean to abandon…
Friendship nor love…
I’m just bidding my time…
Building up my resistance…
For I have to be resilient,
For life has not gone easy on me…
Your presence has been a great manifestation…
Of God’s grace and mercy…
Your companionship is sufficient…
To bring my dreadful days to an end…
But this I have to say my friend…
You have done all you can…
There are voids in me that aren’t meant…
For you nor others to fill…
But the one and only fits in will,
Completes my heart and make my life anew…
I sought not physical pleasure or dazzling looks…
I just want to love and love receive…
Let not my heart be the worldly lust deceive…
I crave for nothing else but one only….
The one and only love that will set me free…

-Bornion Crusader-

A Father's Day Tribute..

In times of hardship...
God's grace is sufficient...
His mercy is abundant...
His love is our daily provision...
And you...
are the manifestation of His presence...
among us...

-Bornion Crusader-

The Vovage...

It is a well known fact…
That everything will come to an end…
Whether it is good or bad…
In the past, now and then...
I found myself back to where I often stand…

It is a well known truth…
The sun will rise and in the evening rest…
I thought it was time to move…
And so I moved-and I did my best…
But I found myself in deep real mess…

It is a well known reality…
Once it passed, it’s gone…
I paid dearly for my stupidity…
I thought I have the whole race won…
In the end I found out myself empty handed, worn and torn…

It is just a stupid tale…
Told and told again…
Of an unguided ship aimlessly sail…
On the oceans of anguish and the seas of pain…
Sometimes I wonder, why does it always, always rains?

-Bornion Crusader-

a mid nite silly dream...

Sometimes I just felt like…
Run away or join a mass get away...
Far away from what we are obliged…
Or the price we ought to pay…
In exchange for a better tomorrow, and today…

Hence we roam the city one day…
Every road and every little single way…
Till the nights are deep are we run astray…
In the empty streets we found our joy…
Just like a child who found a toy…

From one place to another…
We visited places together…
Whereby no one dares to venture…
During the busy working day…
In the lonely and quiet city corner, there we found our pleasure…

Tired and weary we came to the spot…
Where we some peace sought…
Looking up to the full moon hung high in the sky…
Tears came flowing; some started to cry…
After all, far from home…
In this strange land, all alone…

As the season draws to an end…
It’s a new dawn for us, and so to you my friends…
Thanks for being here; you all have been very dear…
Heart to heart talks and friendship walks…
Till then the day we spend together…
Remains in my mind, forever…

-Bornion Crusader-

Curse of the Mother's Day

Cursed be the celebrations of men!!
Shall it just be a remembrance?
Or just a special day for benevolence to the loved ones?
Must it be just a day for kindness?
While the rest the days of detachment and individualism??
I know not the true meaning of Days,
I am confused of its true calling.
Isn’t love ever present?
Why on certain days do we need to show special attention,
Of which I love you tomorrow as how I loved you yesterday and today.
You craved for the comfort the rest sought from words and speeches.
You should have known,
I’m different and “I love you” rarely uttered from my lips,
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t,
Or I never appreciated you,
Rather,
Love is not of feelings, but of faith.
I lost faith n interest in Days,
Never again will I celebrate it,
For it reminds me of how “unloving” one can be,
How “ignorant” and “foolish” can influence one’s mind.
I have tears to spare no more,
You hurt me down,
To the very core.

-Bornion Crusader-

brotherhood...

Once upon a time…
A story of two brothers told…
A legacy unfold…
The firstborn, big and bold…
Strong and mighty…
The second, small but sly…
On to his brother’s heels, tightly hold…
A great rivalry thus begin…
The Sun shown upon the elder…
The Moon on the other…
Time flies as the brothers grow up…
Drinking from the different cups…
Of the Sun n the Moon…
The elder was reckless and wasn’t bright…
Sold off his firstborn rights…
To the younger who was cunning and sly…
When it was time for the Sun to set…
The elder was called and met…
The Sun placed all his bets…
Hopes and dreams on the elder’s lap…
All he wants was a nice meal trap…
Of the wild in exchanged for his blessings…
The Moon overheard and plotted the younger…
To go deep under and overtake his brother…
So the elder ended up with nothing but wrath and anger…
Swore with his live and will hunt down the brother…
The younger feared and ran away…
Exiled from his homeland for many many days…
Time flies by and it was time again…
For the two to meet once more…
Will both of them meet in vain?
Or will both of them end up in pain?
But in the end the elder hugs the younger…
The second he sets his eyes upon…
Tears flow on cheeks like river…
Both brothers lost in the embrace of one another…
This brings to an end of a story like no other…
Where the love of brotherhood last forever…
Nothing else but love could fit between…
Two souls that fought together ever since…
Both as friends yet foes…

-Bornion Crusader-

Birthday Gal...

You and I,
Sitting side by side,
Watching the saber-like moon,
Staring into the sky,
Feeling lonely aren’t you?
That you cried your tears dry,
Many a time your eyes wouldn’t lie,
Though you may try your best to hide,
But girl, it is ok to cry,
I know it is the first time,
Turning a year older,
Further from home than ever,
But you may want to remember,
That you too have a family here,
Not forgetting that there is love too,
And as today’s your special day sister,
With all my heart I wish you,
A Blessed 19th Birthday…
-Bornion Crusader-

tomorow today

Every time you wore that despair look…
It goes into the books…
Every tear you shed…
My heart bleeds too…
Every time you are sad…
I feel very very bad…
Every time you are depressed…
You forgot; that I actually understand…
I hate it when I try to comfort you,
You shrugged me off instead…
I might seem far from where you stand…
But sorry girl, I’ve been through that same old land…
Every time you cry,
Your eyes will never lie…
You want to look strong…
Yet deep inside comfort you dreadfully long…
I’m sad, very sad…
That I’m not much different with any other lad…
Felt so far away…
Caught in endless sway…
Felt like I belong nowhere…
Just take my own path n make my way…
Walk alone and wander along this endless bay…
Every step I hope to see the dawn sun-ray…
That might break through this emotional decay…
And with all my strength I pray…
That I would not get a tomorrow…
Just like the day today…

-Bornion Crusader-

The Golden Fleece

A girl of five years old asks her mother…
When shall I grow up?
Then time crawled and you would not even bother…
A girl of ten years old looks and wonder…
Butterflies are wonderful creatures!!
Then time walked and you wouldn’t notice …
A girl of fifteen years old starts to dress and make up …
It’s my first date and my first kiss!!
Then time run and you play catch up…
A girl of nineteen, lovely and tender…
Love problems are getting no lesser!!
Every man who set their eyes on her…
Hearts shaken and lost in love…
As gentle as the doves…
Cupid stole their hearts…
Yet often will break them into parts…
A life of uncertainty is yet to come…
What a woman will she be?
Strong winds, giant waves and violent seas…
May the gods protect her like the golden fleece…
Till Jason finally reach her and make his plea…
To be his forever…
And forever she will be…

-Bornion Crusader-

Crossroads...

First I couldn’t let things go…
With all my strength I tried to hold…
On to those precious to my soul…
I suffered from my persistence…
As well as from my over-confidence…
Now I had a lesson learned…
Some things are not meant to be reasoned…
By goners are meant to be gone…
Ties and bonds are delicate matters…
Once broken it will leave you in tatters…
Then I faith and courage gathered…
Tried to let things go n fade off…
But when I started to break off the chains…
The past comes haunting me again…
All of a sudden you came close…
But then you were like a rose…
A beauty that only the eye beholds…
But when touch the thorn prick my hands…
It hurts and bleeds; blood and tears blend…
I really don’t know how things are going to end…
My foundations are built on sand…
The rain comes and all is gone…
I want to move on…
Standing on the crossroads…
Tired and weary with my load…
Which way should I go?

-Bornion Crusader-

insecurity

So insecure,
Of things that happening now and before.
The fear is great,
Everyone is afraid,
Of what tomorrow has in store for us.
Though it was said,
What shall happen will happen.
Anything could just struck you in a sudden.
There is no guarantee,
Of what will happen or what will be,
The next second,
Or the next century.
“Walk through the narrow gate,
For it leads to life”
How many accept their fate,
And with total perseverance strive?
“Avoid the broad gate,
For it leads to death”
How many are tempted, tried and endure,
Do they have the faith?
The burden is great,
Anguish is intense,
Mortal humans we are hence,
Weak, powerless and helpless.
May by His grace our sins cleanse,
That we are spotless and unblemished,
Worthy in His presence stand…
-The Bornion Crusader-

She, Me and You

Seeking some peace and solitude,
God answered my thirst,
Blessed me with such a beautiful prelude,
Calmed my unrest heart and quelled the curse,
Casted upon my feeble soul,
Warmed my day and fend off the cold,
Rain that fell upon me, though;
I’m torn between two,
Not by whom nor by who,
But by what I did and what I do,
Am I to You being fair and true?
I’m confused,
Not by when nor by why,
But by the affection for her and for You,
Am I to You just a brilliant fool?
But I thank You,
For the sunshine You bring to my day,
When the rain never seems to stop,
For the company,
When I am lonely,
For Your smile and laughter,
When I am just a step away from being a nutter,
For Your rationale advices,
When I am totally out of ideas,
For Your patience and kindness,
When I need a shoulder to lean on.
But You to me isn’t just a replacement,
I can’t afford to be complacent,
Or history will rewrite itself,
You have a piece of my heart,
But not realized it though,
You had it long long ago,
I’m sincere and true,
In everything I say or do,
But I fear,
I shall stumble upon the same spot again,
Fail and go through the pain,
But I shall try all I can,
So that whatever happens,
You won’t need to give me a lifelong ban,
To the least we still can be friends.
Nevertheless I pray and give thanks,
That You are there for me,
And hope that You will always be,
Till one day I can look over the vast open sea,
And say with confidence,
I am not lonely…

-The Bornion Crusader-

Lemma Sabhacthani...why have you forsaken me??

It all over now…
The storm is gone…
A new day was born…
But the land was scarred…
Deep to its core…
Like an incurable sore…
That bleeds forever…
It will never be the same…
Land of honey and milk…
That I once call paradise…
Things have since changed…
The storm ripped everything from this Land…
Even the boulders are like sand…
Tossed around by the mighty gust…
That tears everything in its path…
There can never be any more fun…
Fun no more under the sun…
What is done is done…
I had tried my all…
But the Land was scarred too beyond…
The storm was too strong…
I thought the Land is strong enough and through all challenges last…
Little did I know that I was very wrong…
The storm is all but of the past…
But still...
Nothing more I can say…
For every mistake the price I pay…
Had ripped me apart day by day…
How much longer strong I can stay?
My heart begins to decay…
The love and passion…
Has all gone astray…
All in all…
I’m sad to say…
The Land has to end this way…
Forgotten and begotten…
Foul and rotten…
Never again Love Faith and Hope will exist in this Land…
For the Three is not wanted nor needed…
Banned and totally ousted…
Only to hear the sobs of Adam…
Mourning for the lost of Eden…
Just for his love to Eve…
God had taught a good lesson…
Man can always commit treason…
Never count on any person…
For a total friend is beyond human…
I’m all but a broken man…
A broken man in this wretched Land…
I shall count on nobody but His mighty Hand…
And to the New Eden lead and guide me again…
For they have forfeited the friendship I thought I can regain…
Do not hold me anymore of my transgressions…
For this friendship I had lost all passion…
I am now tired and weary…
For this war I had fought bravely…
In the end I find my hand empty…
For what I get is segregation and empathy…
For all my efforts in defending the Land…
I should have known…
I was fighting all alone…
For a cause that cannot be mend...
I’ve lost nothing but all…
I’ve reach nowhere but stumbled and fall…
Lemma Sabhacthani…
My friend, my friend…
Why have you forsaken me??

-The Bornion Crusader-

the lament of the fallen man...

I had not known when…
My own downfall marked…
I was high up then…
Everything seems alright…
But fall comes after pride…
Down I came on the slide…
Hit the ground hard…
Caught me off guard…
Full on the chest…
Felt like choking, short of breath…
I tried to stand up…
But I need filling for my cup…
Weak and powerless…
To arise again from the ashes…
For my heart was ripped off…
And the bleed just can’t stop…
Many came and tried…
Patch up the wound and tell me ‘it’s all right”…
But it isn’t…
Stop grieving I just couldn’t…
I want to step out…
Of this pure darkness…
But there isn’t light…
To be my side and be my guide…
For I still don’t understand…
Nor know where I actually stand…
I am still floating around…
Going round and round…
I just wish the sun would just come out…
Shine through the darkness and clear the clouds…
Make me understand and clear my doubts…
For I want to be strong…
Leave the past and walk on…
With the truth you brings I shall in the darkness see…
With that truth I shall also break free…
Of this endless pit of self-denial…
Pain and endless trial…
Into the care free life I used to have…
I mind not if love does not return…
“It is more blessed to give than to receive”…
But I rather not live in lies and deceit…
Just want to be sure…
If this friendship was once pure…
If between you and me does have a cure…
For I will try my best and my all…
To turn the tides back to before…
Whatever happens next I can change no more…
Everything to God I give my all…
Whatever happens, big or small…
I would care less anymore…
For I am in the circle no more…
Ousted and banished…
Friendless evermore…
But on His power I will stand…
His promise I shall hold tight in my hand…
May He lead me out of this barren land…
And give me a second chance…
To rebuild my faith and my life...
Maybe for my love a second try…
And continue to strive…
In this life which no more my own...
In this world which never is my home…

-The Bornion Crusader-

the day my heart rots...

As though my heart,
A wooden stake driven through,
All I did was,
Being concern for someone or two,
Why am I treated like this??
As though I am,
No one but a stranger,
Poked my nose into you business,
After all this heart to heart whispers,
You condemn me of being treacherous.
As though I always thought,
Is this friendship a forge?
I was ignorant and silly,
And now my heart begins to rot,
From you I comfort sought,
To you I trouble brought.
As though I had not,
With my heart and soul,
This friendship won,
I loved you both more than my own,
But I reaped what I had not sown,
You just left me-all alone.
I do not understand,
Nor know why,
You both just left me, alone; to die,
With no one with me walk side by side,
In this world of loneliness,
Anguish so great that I can’t hide.
What wrong had I committed?
That I should face such judgment?
That my heart filled with sobbing cries?
Of this friendship that I treasured more than my life,
And that I get such treatments, in reply?
Why? Why? Tell me why?
I look up to the sky,
Can’t help but only sigh,
Is this my fate,
That my love for Eve is destined to die?
Oh please, My Love,
Don’t just pass me by.
I should have known,
This day is bound to come,
I should have known,
That “Friends Forever” is an old glorified lie,
For true friends willing for each other die,
And when for you everything I sacrifice,
You just kick on my ass and say,
“Why not you just go and die?”
What are friends for?
No more like before,
For when you were in need,
Aren’t I always there to listen, to comfort,
And wait to answer your desperate call?
Within a night,
Black can turn to white,
Friends or foes alike,
It doesn’t matter much more,
For my heart had rot and die,
When you just left me once and for all.
May God always be with you,
All in all,
For I cannot bear,
To be in your presence,
Any much more.

-The Bornion Crusader-

Infatuation...

when first baby cupid,
on my heart shot her magical arrow.
infatuation begins...

when first i,
realised that i'm in love,
stunned, lost for words,
love, is in the air...

when first I,
wanted to the girl of my heart, propose,
a killer blow; painful as stone crushed on my chest,
very much real, vivid and the agony,

unbearable…
not the first time though,
the world seems dark, gloom;
but untold pain and anguish,
flowing through the heart of mine.

she was all but his, taken;
her heart was not of her own, rather of his,
unavailable, deep in the sea of love,
of her breast closely embraced.

maybe one day,
of one day she, will finally see me in her eye,
of one day she will be mine and i be hers.
but is that day to come? will this love be mine?
will i be lonely, never again?

thus the story runs,
like a stream with no beginnings nor ends,
of a boy infatuated, with a girl,
of a one way love,
never destined to be returned.
And i wait, wait and wait,
a day, month, or year,
till the day her love is mine,
and mine is hers,
or till baby cupid returns to her trade,
shoots the arrow on the other girl,
perhaps, maybe,
freeing me again,
from that painful love,
or rebinds me,
to another,
endless infatuation…

-The Bornion Crusader-