为何自个儿哭？
您又成了爱的俘虏？
为何自个儿伤悲？
又让感情串肠断腑？
为何让泪遮盖眼前路，
掩盖美好前途？
为何让挂念把手于您？
耳边徘徊的，还是他的声音？
问世间情为何物，直叫人以身相许？
若盼新的会来，就得让旧的过去。
这首心中旋转的情歌，
究竟是一首总要播完的曲。
为何自个儿心酸？
回想了当时的甜蜜吗？
为何还盼他会心软，
回心转意回到您身旁？
为何守着已被放弃的诺言？，
反倒忽略旁人的关怀？
为何为爱依然痴心绝对，
活不出来生命中各种精彩？
仰天锤锤胸膛，打开您那已闭上的心芳。
低头抱抱肩膀，纳受幸福是要打开手掌，
让爱自降临心芳！
Lately I got hooked up to Mandarin Songs again and in truth I find them more personal than most English songs that I knew. More personal in the sense that Chinese artists sings a lot about love: platonic and erotic love. I wonder how I let those younger days past without listening to them.
So I ended up scouring YouTube and several sites to download these songs for hours. Some songs remind me of my secondary school days, of how I was so ignorant about love, about how my own introvert self has cost me so much.
Some songs reminds me of friendship, of how I used to have friends to play and fool around all day. Of how I used to feel belonged to a group of silly people. I must say I miss those times, when these friends decorated most of my life. I was naive, I did not appreciate them.
Some songs reminds me of certain individuals that commanded a special place in my heart, and also those few that still. I can’t help but sigh, that if I have known them earlier, or had I been more outgoing, or had I approached them earlier, my life would be considerably changed.
I don’t know if I would ever get the chance to redeem what I have missed all these years. I know in life we would not be able to return to amend our choices, what I have left, is nothing more than the memories that are engraved in these songs. Little it may be, but I guess I’ll be listening to these for quite some time, for it is through this that I may hope to relive those times in those melodies…
人生难得遇知己，
但求知音同心思。
楼上遥望东至西，
与您相论不计时。
乾坤运行无止尽，
人生渺茫有几回。
能得知音乃是幸，
您却心里倒有谁？
夕阳之短几分焉，
与友共处赏夕阳。
天涯纵然赐红颜，
海角自会备心芳。
If only you know,
what a friend I’ve found in you.
of such the interest that we share,
the same passion of the same flair.
If only you know,
this feeling of acquaintance that I feel,
of such rarity, that I was amazed that you are You,
out of so many, you are few among the few.
Yet I wonder, what of me do you feel?
as of the same passion that we share,
are the hopes I dare to habour would be real?
If only you know.
Some people say:
“what is to come must always come,
be it your knowledge or not.
what is to pass must always pass,
be it physical, bonds or even thoughts.”
then some say:
“if so why we bother to live in full,
knowing that our lives have all but set.
are we to just live strictly to the rule,
to the rule of some divine entity name Fate?”
yet i believe life harbours a divine purpose,
for the wise or the foolish, or the rich or poor.
to live is to work towards something
that might last beyond the clutches of hell,
when the flesh would one day fail.
to wait patiently for Time to run its course,
is the only thing i can do.
for even God loves and cares for the sparrows,
what more would He do for this sinful fool?
call me naive, call me a fool,
tell me that i don’t deserve it all;
i’m may be the worse among the pool.
yet i shall rejoice and rise from this fall,
let others say they’re better, that they stand up tall.
let my soul say, i was at the highest
when to my knees i fall.
let my soul sing, i am loved
even if the world hates me to the core.
it’s true that people say when you travel, you meet different kinds of people. true to that, i met many different people with different personalities from my recent trip.
there’s this one person whom surprised me. i had not expected to see two different sides of faces that hung on the same skull which could potentially be so distinctive from one another.
and my god, i think i was terrified at first. the impression this person (which is a girl) gave me in a conversation was friendly, passionate and somewhat attractive. but when i paid a visit to the her blog online, i felt as if i had intruded into a totally different person’s territory. what was masked behind the somewhat extrovert character is a moody, emotional and to a large extent a very egoistic side of this pitiful individual.
i think what she claims in her blog that she does best is to put on different levels of intelligence and masks to suit different people she meets. let say she meets a fool, she would then speak and act very much like one (to not let the fool feel intimidated according to her blog) and should she meet an intellect, she would happily tears the masks off and enjoy the intellectual talk. this made me wonder, what kind of masks did she put on when she spoke to me??
yet i must admit, i was already very much drawn to her at the first place, even more after i found out the different side of her. her ability to wear different masks to suit different people she interacts with really impress me, and in truth made me feel intimidated and slightly disgusted.
then i began to pity her and probably she does deserve some pity. such individual may never truly seen her true self in the mirror. is she really better than the rest? is she really one of the rare intellectual, the wise among the many fool? if so, is she happy? what joy can come to a clown, who smiles and cries to satisfy the crowds?
i do want to try to befriend this sad yet interesting individual. but her high and sturdy egoistic wall bars herself from doing so. yet what i can do here is to just wish her all the best, that she would one day no longer need to put on masks and wear emotions that doesn’t resonate with her heart, that she would learn that even the most popular and successful clown, is the one that really needs cheering up.
People say things come and go,
and time would heal everything…
What is this then, this feeling deep in my heart?
Why is it then, my soul is struggling?
People say years are as days
when we live as it is the last…
What is this then, this impatience I feel?
Why is it then, I can’t wait for this to pass?
People say friends are forever,
friends are their life and pride…
What is this then, this feeling of loneliness?
Why is it then, no one’s by my side?
People say love last forever,
unbound by dimensions of space, time and death…
What is this then, this dire lust for more?
Why is it then, I thought I have it all?
I say,
time may heal, but some scars are beyond repair…
Friendship don’t last forever,
at times the burden is too heavy to bear…
Love dissipates like thin air,
when people used up their fare…
Yet a little dose of gratitude and the will to share…
would ensure immortality of these to those who care…
I say,
be it yesterday, tomorrow or even today,
whatever people say,
Let me be wise, and listen to what the Spirit chooses to say,
for guidance, protection and strength in every way,
every day.
As thou step towards the ripeness of age,
So does your taste of elegance and grace,
Decorates and beautify the Canvas of Your Life.
By the use of wisdom, governing over wits,
And of the loving hand of the Father,
Watching over thee from where He sits,
Thou shall be sustained in Faith, Love and Hope,
As thou steps beyond this Blessed Day,
Never shall thou walk alone down the way.
-Happy Blessed 21st Birthday-