Platform “L1F3”

She continued to sit there, even after he had long left, watching the trains speeding past her. How long has it been, she couldn’t remember. All she does, is the fleeting sharp prod she felt in her heart when he bid farewell.

How many times have he said goodbye? Too many times, too often that she took them for granted. This time, there’s no more next time. It was his last farewell to her.

‘This time is for real; I’m leaving for good,’ he said with a firm, determined expression, before adding, ‘I’m going after her’.

There was then an awkward paused, both of them being impervious towards the crowd that were walking past them, like river rocks amidst the river flow.

‘Why won’t you stay?’  said she while hugging both her arms. Droplets of tears started to drench her slightly crumpled polka dotted sleeves. ‘You know how I...’

‘…I must go,’  he interjected, trying to avoid her teary eyes by looking at the departure board. After another period of uncomfortable silence, he said, ‘It is time.” Out of his pocket, he produced a piece of paper, folded into two, and gave it to her.

Without another word, he turned to board the train, the train that would lead to his happiness. But to her, it is a journey that would take hers away from her, one that would bring grieve unto her.

Then he paused in his steps, before uttering, ‘Thank you.’  It was almost inaudible, drowned by all the noise and din of the railway station. But she caught every single word, every single intonation, and the mixture of gratitude and sorry in his short yet cruel bidding.

She then watched him blended among the crowd through her watery eyes, trying not to blink at all, so as not to lose sight of him. But what must go would go. She wiped her face while she unfolded the note, and just as a ray of light emerged from the cloudy sky, she smiled.

“Life’s like a platform; people come and go. Some people wait, some people go.  One day you would find what you are waiting for, and go after it, just as how I’ve waited, hence now, I must go.”

What shall he do??

There is this unspeakable fear, a dreadful feeling that remained stuck in some corner of his heart. You won’t get hurt if you don’t hope for it, they say. He used to think it was silly, but now it start to make sense to him, such philosophical words.

She always have been on his mind, as a friend. Although he hopes that there would be more than just friendship, it seems unlikely in the circumstances he’s in. But he longed for her presence, be it little messages on Twitter or pokes on Facebook, phone calls across the continent or the far distant memories of the little coffee shop they sat and talked all day together.

Probably it was work, he would like to think, that she gradually drifted away. More and more phone calls went unanswered, messages un-replied. To some extend he began to think that he was probably being a nuisance. Or maybe her boyfriend felt it was too improper, improper to adhere to his desire for her affection and attention.

He stopped suddenly, no more attempts to communicate with her. Why not leave with some dignity intact than to strive for a lost cause? He chose pride over friendship, as well as potential romantic interest. Over time it seems that he had finally got over her. Making new friends, meeting new people, trying new and different things.

I shouldn’t have done it. Just out of curiosity, he poked her on Facebook. To see if she does it in return. He wasn’t even really hoping, but she did poke him in return. Now I’m in a dilemma. They chatted and reconnected their abandoned friendship on that fine afternoon, catching up to each other’s tale of the lost 6 months. She apologized that she was busy for a moment of time, and was sorry for not sparing much time for him. She promised that they will properly speak to one another when both of them were available.

Available? When is considered “available”?  He used to call her once every fortnight, sometimes once a week. If it is her, he could call her everyday if she likes it. She didn’t realise that her promise brought hope to him, and also equally fatal dose of disappointment. He wonders if he could take another rejection again. What if she suddenly breaks off again after they re-established their relationship? What if she finds him too irritating?

Should I? Should I not? This is killing him. It is almost like drugs. It corrodes you within, but you need it to keep you going, to keep you feeling like you’re actually living. So curiosity DOES kill the cat. There is only himself to blame, for pushing that self-destruct “poke” Facebook button.

What shall he do??

You’re Not Listening Yet.

I would not brag that I know it all, seen it all, heard it all. For always and often, pride comes before you fall. I don’t claim to understand how my fellow Muslim friends feel, or understand whenever they see their Holy Scripture being threaten, or being derogated in any ways. But I know that not in my lifetime I wish to see the Holy Bible is being molested in any method thinkable.

People are different. Hence beliefs and faith are different. How are we, and who are we to coerce others to follow what we believe in?? If you feel justified believing in what you believe in, don’t others deserve the same respect for their judgement??

I do understand, that authenticity is highly valued, especially in the world today, where the fake is as real as reality itself. Mind you, I held fast to my belief that my God is the one true god. But that doesn’t leave my fellow friends’ God lesser than mine. To them, their God is as holy as my God to me. Being disrespectful to their God, is a testament of my weak faith towards mine.

You can burn all the Korans you like. You can prosecute all the unbelievers you like. You can say anything you like. You can incur all kinds of propaganda for all you like. If there’s anything worth learning from history, the more you burn, the more it spreads. Nazis burnt the bible, yet it remains the most printed book on earth.

It was written, Love your enemies. I presume from my lesser wisdom that it includes accepting what others are for just who they are, doing onto them what you wish them to do for you. Certainly, I don’t want them to burnt my Holy Scripture!!

Shame on you, if you believe that’s your calling, If you believe that is what God calls you to do. You’re not really listening yet.