I had not known when…
My own downfall marked…
I was high up then…
Everything seems alright…
But fall comes after pride…
Down I came on the slide…
Hit the ground hard…
Caught me off guard…
Full on the chest…
Felt like choking, short of breath…
I tried to stand up…
But I need filling for my cup…
Weak and powerless…
To arise again from the ashes…
For my heart was ripped off…
And the bleed just can’t stop…
Many came and tried…
Patch up the wound and tell me ‘it’s all right”…
But it isn’t…
Stop grieving I just couldn’t…
I want to step out…
Of this pure darkness…
But there isn’t light…
To be my side and be my guide…
For I still don’t understand…
Nor know where I actually stand…
I am still floating around…
Going round and round…
I just wish the sun would just come out…
Shine through the darkness and clear the clouds…
Make me understand and clear my doubts…
For I want to be strong…
Leave the past and walk on…
With the truth you brings I shall in the darkness see…
With that truth I shall also break free…
Of this endless pit of self-denial…
Pain and endless trial…
Into the care free life I used to have…
I mind not if love does not return…
“It is more blessed to give than to receive”…
But I rather not live in lies and deceit…
Just want to be sure…
If this friendship was once pure…
If between you and me does have a cure…
For I will try my best and my all…
To turn the tides back to before…
Whatever happens next I can change no more…
Everything to God I give my all…
Whatever happens, big or small…
I would care less anymore…
For I am in the circle no more…
Ousted and banished…
Friendless evermore…
But on His power I will stand…
His promise I shall hold tight in my hand…
May He lead me out of this barren land…
And give me a second chance…
To rebuild my faith and my life...
Maybe for my love a second try…
And continue to strive…
In this life which no more my own...
In this world which never is my home…
-The Bornion Crusader-
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