Monday, 29 August 2011

Limbo

This can’t be true.

How did I end up here?

A look around the room revealed that it was no bigger than a normal primary school classroom. But it was way more crowded with people than any classrooms I’ve ever seen.

But…

Why am I here?

The last thing I remember was driving my 4x4 Land Rover Jeep back home, listening to the silly DJ’s on the radio bantering. The next thing I knew, I woke up in this room.

Surprisingly, nobody took notice of me, standing looking bewildered. Taking a second glance around the room, the faces now seemed familiar. I know them, but I can’t remember their names.

What is happening?

A sudden blinding light shot across the room, I had to involuntarily shut my eyes. I seem to remember something, but it’s still to vague, like mist in the dark night. I took a step back, and felt my spine hit something. Something wooden, perhaps. Turning myself around, I saw my perfectly stilled body lying within the fine cheddar coffin.

Another blinding light blinded my eyes. At that instances, I understood.

I’m dead.

Then came the loud wailing and crying so loud that I have to shut my ears which I didn’t seem to hear earlier on. As my ears adjusted to the sudden noise, it came to my sense.

I’m at a funeral parlour.

Now I remember who these people are. My family were leading the guests to their seats. Friends, some crying silently, some sobbing. There are also some whose faces remain indifferent. These people came to pay me my last respects.

This must be a bad dream. It has to be.

I felt so bad that I wish I could just wake up from this bad dream. I’m way too young to just leave things like that. I can’t possibly accept this. This is not my fate.

This shall not be my fate!!

I turned and ran, without knowing where I’m heading to. Suddenly all the bickering stopped. All the people are gone, only a lonely casket in front of me.

Where did all the people go?

The door swung open, and a guy walked into the room, carrying some flowers in his hands. Ignoring my presence, he walked straight past me onto the altar. He picked up the incense, lit it up, and stationed the flowers beautifully next to it.

Then I realised, I’ve gone straight through the walls into someone else’s room. The guy turned to leave, and just before he went through a door, I heard…

“No one’s here yet?”

“Nope, the other room’s pretty busy…”

“Yeah, I see you bring flowers again.”

“He might have been lonely in life. Nobody deserved to be lonely...”

I couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation as the closing door shut off any sound from the corridor. Walking up towards the altar, I see a middle-aged man lying in the coffin. He looked dandy, probably didn’t matter much since nobody came to see. There’s this sense of pity rising in me. We’re both dead, yet it is a contrasting sending off between him and me.

I realised that I may never been rich or famous, but I had friends that are loyal and kind, family that brings me warmth and love. I may fall short of other’s expectations, but in the end they all came.

I went back into my room, taking another glance at my loved ones. I remember everything now. The car I was driving must have been in an accident. Someone once said that you can measure how successful your life is by judging the quantity and quality of the people that attend your funeral. It seems to me know that is quite true. I realised, the ones that remained indifferent, unmoved, are my closest friends. It seems that they are already ready to let me go.

At this point, a tunnel of light opened up on the side. I couldn’t see the end of it, but I knew that I must walk through it.

How did I end up here?

It doesn’t matter now. Now I can move on, in peace and rest.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

夕阳与黄昏

不知不觉,太阳西下。

“喂?”

“是我…”。随后却是一片肃静。

心想着,又是这阵不自然的安静…恐怕,是最后一次了。 望着窗外的柳树,不禁叹了气。

我们到底怎么了?

“我决定了-我要离开。”对方憔悴的语气,把气氛弄得更为僵硬。

隐隐约约地,他的答复早就在预料当中。却也知道,这答复是经过一段的思考、体谅和琢磨换来的一个回应。

不知该说些什么,也就什么也不说。此时又是一片安宁。

斗嘴,也斗过了。架子,也摆了很多遍。人人常说,情侣不打不相识。想回来真有点懊悔。但饭已成粥,却也难免的。

那…我祝你…一路顺风。”听见自己的声音,吓了一跳。这战战兢兢,吞吞吐吐的声音竟是自己的?

低头一望,就看见房间里夕阳照着自己身体的影子。很羡慕这没有表情,没有情绪的形象。他是否也这样?

“我要挂了,你多保重。”不知不觉,不禁地流泪了,脸颊湿了。

“对不起…”他没等回复,就把线挂了。一切都了断了,也算是一了百了。

挂了电话,回身倒在床上。窗外看见大半太阳被山脉遮住。空中金色的云彩也逐渐被天色吞没。

满脸眼泪流不停,嘴里带着苦笑,又叹了一口气。

只可惜,太近黄昏了…