song and words

I envy them. I wish I have their gift. The gift to present oneself sincerely and true. The blessing to tell, to illustrate things hidden within not by the over-emphasized sense of sight. If the eye is the window to the heart, the ear must be the gateway to the soul. If a picture says a thousand words, a song could sing a thousand tales.

Not everybody is given the privilege to present themselves in such a way. Certainly not to those who rely heavily on sight or other senses other than the hearing. The society we know today value paintings, writings more than anything else. To some extent, I agree, words and pictures have their own way of touching people’s heart. But to me nothing comes close than music; one that sings nothing but what is felt, what is believe by he who wields it.

I would say I have only half that gift. Or, I’m blessed, but not quite. Sometimes I resent it, why God made me half of what I can be. I do not claim to be an excellent musician, but I believe I possess sufficient skill to play almost any songs on the piano, or on the saxophone. The flaw remains, on the fact that I do not possess the gift of singing. I am like the mute, an individual that can only rely on body movements, kinesthetic presentation of my music, gestures in my attempt to communicate. I am, in a way, incomplete; deprived of my speech, deprived of my ability to sing.

There are so many songs that I would like to sing aloud to all my heart’s content, messages that I want to send out with all my soul. Serenades that I want to sing to my loved ones. But this just does not seem to be. This absence makes me feel empty and hollow and somewhat incomplete.

I would like to believe that there is a reason to this. I would like to believe that God made me imperfect as I am; just to perfect me one day. I want to believe that God has prepared someone out there, someone who shares my ideal, someone who would sing the words of my song. Someone, who would sing to me, while I play to her. Someone that complements me, and at the same time needs me to complete her. I would want to believe that this is God’s way, God’s grand plan to finish this incomplete creation.

You ask if I believe in soul mate. I do not know my answer to that. But I can tell you that I, am no unlike other musicians, needs nothing but one – an audience, a listener, one that appreciates your music, or the very least, a singer that complements the playing music.

My quest is simple. My longing is clear. Just as every performer wants – to please the audience. But I need, I want something more. Someone that would understand my song, someone to give voice to my music. Would I find her? Would I find the audience that would appreciate what I have to convey, not by words nor speech, but through my song?

Tell me, if you know, would the song finds its voice?