U.&.I – Part V

 

It has barely dawned, but he is already up, walking down the little pathway behind the house. This is a little mountain pathway that leads to the summit of a hill approximately half a mile away from the house. Old habits die hard; without any intention of going anywhere, his morning routine is what he does when he needs to think alone.

Up for a little walk?

As he walks he recalls a Catholic retreat centre he visited years ago. There was also a pathway, a hill like this. Along the pathways that leads to the top are memorial plaques, stories of the Crucifixion engraved upon them. Pilgrims often journey up the pathway meditating on the Christ’s final moments of his life.

This hill does not have plaques set along its path, but almost every one-two hundred yards there will be a shrine-like stones set up right next to the path. There are now occasional noises here and there, contrasting the dead silence when he first began his journey.

At least I’m not alone.

Someone once told him that the world is divided into two: those who think, and those who do. The smart and critical thinks a lot, while the pragmatic and practical just…do. But great men transcends this divide; they think and do. All he had done was think, think and think.

An old idea crept back into his mind, if only…would things have been different? If he had taken the initiative, things might never be the same again. But, can he transcend  himself and move out of his comfort zone, and actually try doing something?

Unfortunately, time is not a luxury that I have.

He heard that they broke up, again. Thinking that it might just some lovey-dovey quarrel between those two, he didn’t pay much attention to it. But when she dropped by intoxicated, both eyes swollen, he knew that the rumours were true. She wept throughout the night without uttering a single word. Sitting next to her, he was wrapped up in his own thoughts.

By this time the pathway becomes steeper and more obscured, but he continues on. More sunlight has punctured the thick tropical canopy above him, lightening up his surroundings. But remnants of the morning dew is still visible around him. Taking a break, he drops himself to the ground, with his eyes fixated on the empty opening right before him.

Would you…allow me…Have you ever…?

At that moment he feels the weight of his cross necklace wearing him down. The burden and weight of the choices he has to make is crushing him. Should he avoid pain of rejection and opt for the safety net of friendship but risks eternal regret? Or should he call ALL IN and bet everything on this opening. Should he, be optimistic or pragmatic?

He picks himself up holding onto the tree bark he is resting on, feeling reinvigorate after that short break. But his mind remains restless, as he walks along the path that seems to gradually fade away. Then the path seemingly assimilated into the surroundings. But at this point he can see a small visitor hut that stands out silently and firmly in stillness about 50 yards away. 

Would you let all these pass from me, or bear it wholehearted with me?

At this time the sun has fully emerged, evaporating and dispelling the dew and the mists. The forest awakes from its slumber, with birds chirping and squirrels running up and down the trees. Then he notices that there is something engraved on the floor.

“I lift my eyes to the hills,

where shall my help come from?”

He looks up trying to see as far as he can, then realises that he is yet at the top of the hill. This is merely halfway point of the journey. But there is no more path ahead, which means this little voyage has to come to an end. But who is he to say that there is no more way?

He smiles as he ponders upon those words. He is nearly at his journey’s end, but not just yet. There is still a little fight left in him.

There will be a way.

U.&.I – Part VI

 

“What a day it is, to see you drink, and at this time of the day too”, a voice came from behind. Not bothering to look, he held up his tankard and start downing his pint.

The bar was fairly empty, with only a few customers sitting at the corner talking silently. The only music filling the emptiness was a song playing on the music player. Issac’s a big fan of Elvis’.

“mi so Do ti- Do ti---mi so ti la- ti la“

“It’s never a good sign, drinking yourself into oblivion,” the newcomer said as he walked around the counter. It was Issac. He wrapped the apron around his waist, adding, “and before you reach there, make sure you clear out your tabs. Oii Melainie!”

The young bar girl came over and he dismissed her for the day. Before she left she shoved a piece of paper into his palms. Issac gave a loud sigh, then a long paused followed. As for him, his eyes was fixed at the tankard which both of his hands were wrapping around.

“mi so la so- mi la so- fa la“

“What’s wrong?” Issac broke the long silence. “What is a man like you doing here at a day like this?” He reached out and gently prised the fingers that were tightly clenched around it. Within seconds Issac brewed a strong Earl Grey, no milk and no sugar, added with two thin slice of lemon. Issac placed it in his hands.

“That’s for your head. You’ve been drinking enough ration for a month,” Issac bickered again. By this time a group of customers entered the bar. Issac promptly moved over to take their orders. For once, some quiet and peace.

“fa la Do ti- Do ti--- fa so ti la- ti la-“

The Earl Grey in his hand smelled really…refreshing. He took a sip, and decided that it was good. His head became much clearer but at the same time that ache inside his heart grew much painful. Smirking, he thinks, the anaesthetic must be wearing off.

And what a day, and what a way to die, he muttered to himself. It might be destiny, to receive that devastating news a fortnight into the second month. How long has it been since he was last invited to an engagement party? Lizts’ or Alvin’s? But this is one engagement party that he never hope that he’ll live long enough to attend.

 “re mi fa so la Do ti- so mi---“

He took another sip of his tea, and it felt more soothing than ever. Isaac walked back towards him as he finished attending to the customers. “What kind of magic did you add into this cup?”, he asked.

Issac smiled at his bewildered look, and was glad that he liked it.

“My father used to make it for me every time I’m out of my game. He said a teabag of Earl Grey, a cup of hot water, and two slices of lemon will lift up the lowest of the spirits,” Issac declared proudly.

 “so la ti la so Do la- Do so fa mi fa---“

“It’s really good,” he said after taking another sip. Half of the cup was already emptied. 

“Apparently it was his first love who taught him that trick”.

“I believe this…first love of his…she isn’t your mom?”

“Hah, no of course. My father never forgot about her, I think,” Issac was now cleaning the jugs and the tankards. “But mind you, that doesn’t mean my father don’t love my mom. Its just that…first love are hard to forget. Hell, my mom won’t drink any liquor my father make for her; she only loved the his Earl Grey and lemon the most…”

“la ti Do ti la Re ti- Re la so fa so---“

Issac then bended over and whispered in his ears, “Apparently, with ladies, you can get away with anything just by making yourself her cup of tea.”

Both of them then roared into laughter, and that was the first time he felt lightweight in days, not worn down by disappointments and grieve.

“Thanks, Issac. For the tea, and the pick-me-up,” he said while pulling out his credit card, and then settled his tab with Issac. He then picked up his cup of tea and drained it down to the very last drop, and placed it back onto the table. After cleaning himself up, he sat there waiting for Issac to finish attending to the customers.

“mi so Do ti- Do ti---Do Re Mi Re- Mi Re-“

“I always wonder how you do that…being able to understand others without them uttering a word. It’s a truly remarkable gift.”

“I’m no psychic, but hell, my father was a man, and so am I,” Issac smiled, “I believe you have now a life to get back to?”

“Yeah, I do. There’s no way to back out after such a splendid cup of tea,” now brimming in confidence, he stood up and left a better man.

“so la Do ti la ti Do Re-Do---“

There’s no way else to go except upwards.