It took me quite a while, thinking about what to write for my 100th post on my blog. Maybe, for once, I should just write some ramblings like what people usually do on their blogs for a change. Couldn’t quite believe after nearly 5 years into blogging, I’m only about to reach a century of posts.
But certainly, I do take my time in everything. Probably too much and too often. Well, life’s about making mistakes and paying dearly for them afterwards. A romantic would say, give in everything to your passion, and enjoy the aesthetics of life, appreciate the beauty of beauty. A pragmatist would reply, be practical, work hard, play hard and live hard. A modernist, would simply refute both, and claim that life is not what they think is, and nobody is equipped with the correct definition of it.
I can’t provide you a definite explanation either. But allow me to try. Life’s more like a dream within a dream. There was once I found myself in one of the coffee shops back home in M’sia, eating my favourite dish, siting in one of those big round tables, helping myself to the splendid food and drinks. But then, I asked myself how I ended up being there. Funnily enough, I couldn’t recall catching a train to London, nor a flight from the UK back to M’sia.
At that instance, I realised, I was dreaming.
Then there was once I found myself leaving a building, for whatever reasons I couldn’t recall. But at the entrance I encountered several primary school friends, friends that I’ve not seen for years. We chat, spoke and joke for quite some time, until someone came up to me and said, “You gave me something before you left, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me yourself?” Taken aback, I realised she wasn’t there a minute earlier before. Feeling my face going red in embarrassment, then I woke up.
Dream within a dream. Isn't life life within a life? Just as there are different “scenes” between dreams, you get different “landmarks” in life. Just like dreams, sometimes life gets ridiculous, illogical, yet at times reflect the upmost, deepest desire and longings that’s very well hidden. Unlike the romantics, I cannot always express whatever is inside. Unlike the pragmatics, sometimes I need to petrify myself with fantasies and dreams. Unlike the modernists, though uncertainty is fine, there are always qualities, such as friendship and kinship, that remains constant and unchanged.
This “post” is merely another landmark, to determine where I am now, and to decide which way to move on towards. My journey from the first posting till the 100th has been a truly remarkable experience. Many a times, it’s just like a dream within a dream, scenes within scenes. But I’m truly glad, to have reached here and now, and to move forward again soon.