U. &. I – Part VI

 

Tic…tic…tic…tic…tic…tic

The Newton Cradle on the frontier of her desk clicks away mercilessly, giving the heavily carpeted room a little chroming noise. Typing her life away on the PC keyboard, she immerses herself in her career, trying hard to drown every single sign of sorrow deep down within her office-woman facade.

“Knock knock…”

Ben pokes his head into her office, extending his short stumpy next trying to see what she is occupied with. Clearly expecting a friendly reply, it took him nearly half a minute to realise that she is intending to continue ignoring him.

“Hey there beauty…come on, drop all that work for a minute. Boss ain’t here right now. Fancy a candle-light dinner later? It’s Thursday!!".

She looks up to him putting on a annoyed expression, while not declining him outright she remain silent.

With endless optimism he said, “Haven’t you heard? Thursday is the new Friday!!”

“As you can see, I can do nothing but to disincline with your courteous offer”, she said.

“Owh…quit being so posh…it’s just me and you…”

She stops typing almost instantly, sits back upright and stares intently onto the cradle ticking away for eternity.

Tic…tic…tic…tic…tic…tic

Mustering a fake smile, she says, “Buzz…off…”. Getting back to her work, she adds, “I’m busy”.

“You know…you’ll never move on with that attitude of yours.Ever.”

“I’m sorry you feel offended. But I…”

“Apology accepted. No harm done”, he interrupts cheerfully.

Ignoring his playful interjection, she continues “…don’t really care.”

For over a minute or so he remains silent. Amused by the sudden solitude, she looks up. He forcefully stops the Cradle in its tracks, before setting it again into motion.

Tic…tic…tic…tic…tic…tic

“If you have nothing else...I need to catch up with my workload,” her tone remains cold and indignant towards him. Her fingers again typing away her life on the keyboard.

“As you wish…though you will regret this…Queen…”, he turns backward and start walking away.

“Pardon?”

Stopping in his stride, he turns around, hesitated a moment, before continuing, “We’ve found him.”

“What?”

He gently place a little stripe on her desk with a half apologizing, half sympathetic expression. Hers mirrored in a perplexed and petrified manner.

“You’ll never find him,” he adds, before breaking into his full stride, exiting her office hastily.

Tic…tic…tic…tic…tic…tic

Holding the stripe in her palms, she etches the address into her mind, half hoping, half wishing, that she will finally see him again, even if it is for one last time.

 

Am I…

Alone?

No, a bird’s eye view around her reveals that she is amongst the uncountable New York’s busy, ant-like population walking along the 66th Magnolia Boulevard. A huge, flow of blacken lava flowing between the gaps of high flying skyscrapers, never ending, never broken. It was as the mythical Ouroboros, its head hunting its tail, a beginning with no end.

Under her breath beneath the dark grey canopy she curses her luck. Of all days her car breaks down today. And she have no choice but to travel 8 miles from her comfy studio apartment, now equipped with a brand new home theatre system, where she tunes into her favourite sitcoms all day long, hiding under a hand sewn quilt given to her by Ma, to where she works, 8 hours a day as a corporate slave to capitalism.

The subway then….

#$%&*@#$%&!@#$%&

But the worst is yet to come. Two days ago there was an impeding terrorist threat made on the subway system she used to travel on long before she procure her beloved but modest, second hand Mini Cooper. Now on high alert, there is simply too many security personnel along the subway stations to be able to commute smoothly. Everybody seems to be very conscious about being observed with hawk-like CCTV’s and leering, watchful eyes of those men in uniform. Ironically, both time and things seem to move far more slower when people actually behave themselves.

Might as well take the road then…

…since she is already doomed to be late for work through the works of miraculous force in work this fateful day.  But it is a grand spectacle, to look 50-60 feet in front and all you see is a multitude of people behind the backdrop of the dark grey horizon. Lost, in the sea of people, like a speck of grain in the Sahara Desert. Inevitably, she ponders quietly…

…nothing but a small  part of this vast world…

There was this philosophical work she read somewhere during one of those hair-dressing session in Salem not long ago, out of sheer boredom. It is hard to comprehend how that book could end up in a hair-dressing saloon, lying in wait for its noisy, bullish female patrons to flick through it with disinterested eyes, only to be tossed aside seeing no pictures nor illustration is included in it.

It was said that One is all, All is one. The One, being the source for everything, gives birth to All. All, which is everything, will eventually denigrate into nothingness, and such nothingness returns to the One. A never ending cycle, where the beginning leads to the end and the end give birth to the beginning.

So fascinating… 

So she is nothing but a part of this big, complex ecosystem, yet as minute as she seems to be, she is living part of this community. Having rarely need to interact with clients in her career, she is often perceived as quiet, unassuming, passive. She is no charismatic leader, and have remained an individualistic, independent worker after so many years. Yet her contribution to the society is immensely underappreciated; she helps design and regulate software for the great New York City’s traffic control, sewerage system and utility lines. Right at that moment, she imagines what will happen this this great city if she never exist.

For another while waves of emotions rush into her. It has been months since she was in a relationship, and is not in speaking terms with her father either. The nature of her job means that she often deals with computers, blueprints, maps, numbers…

So…Alone…

She breaks her stride and stop in her tracks all of the sudden, facing upwards as if making a plead to the Gods above. Yet nobody finds her sudden pause intruding or offensive, going on in their own way, simply avoiding her statuesque  figure by making a detour around her, then proceeding with longer strides to make up for lost time. If people are the cogs that  make the whole machine work, she seems rather unimportant, unnecessary, redundant. Life goes one with, or without her. The days roll by whether she runs or pauses. The world goes round and round, again, in a circle-like motion, years after years.

Am I alone?

Si Tenggang’s Dilemma

 

As of this stage, time, space, I find myself in a mire of doubts, anxiety and dilemma. A dilemma once so mythical, so unreal that nobody really give it a thought, or even considered its existence. But this, an embodiment of irony and satire, is now a reality no true Malaysian that has ever tasted life beyond Malaysia can escape unscathed, unblemished, unhurt. 

It is only common and logical that people expect great and majestic things from those who were given the opportunity to seek knowledge and skills beyond the four borders of this country. Hard-earned money toiled with blood and sweat of the rakyat freely given, poured out to fund these expeditions of the few that they may obtain the unobtainable, due to lack of insight and farsightedness of the Malaysian academia.

To put it simply, we are to learn what made others strong, that we ourselves may become strong.

But alongside sky-high expectations people had of us also came serious scrutiny and criticism of every single things that we do that is considered a blasphemy in the eyes of our people. It is ironic that our own people, who funded and sent us away on these quests for knowledge and skills, are the very same people that also discriminate, ridicule and belittle us. The very same people that wished us Good luck! are also those who are prejudiced against us, indifferent to whether their judgment are merited or not.

Many people do not realise that the culture of a society is the dynamics for success and development. I do not blame those who cannot understand this, because they were not blessed with the opportunity to experience and observe this truth. We left on a mission, to learn and acquire whatever that may strengthen us. But when we return we were crucified and prosecuted for the fruits of our labour that they cannot comprehend nor understand due to the nature of our very own culture.

We learnt that autonomy of decisions, freedom of thoughts and humanistic values of the individual are the very foundations of the Western civilisation; the very groundwork that strengthens the individual. When every individual is strong, the collective is also empowered. But our society does not value these; autonomy is subdued by the power hierarchy and bureaucracy, freedom of thoughts restricted by the limited understanding and the ability to comprehend revolutionary ideas or methods, humanistic values bound by the belief where the “benefits of the collective always supersede the individual”.

Ironically, the political, ideological and economical beliefs of this nation often only benefits those placed in the highest echelon of the community. The very same policy-makers that sent us miles across the ocean to bring back creativity, innovations and breakthroughs. They made us different, empowered, stronger, passionate. But they also enacted policies that attempt to break, subdue and force us back into perfect submission. Stronger, but not at the cost of overthrowing the current regime.

But none of these are comparable to the agony, pain and anguish inflicted upon us by a simple act of indifference. Right at the moment when you were defending yourself from fiery arrows shot from multiple directions, right at the moment when you need someone to just show some empathy and understanding, right at the moment you need some friendlies among packs of bullies, the very person you think you can depend on simply shrugged off all expectations with these cruel words: “I can’t do anything, that goes against the higher-ups”.

Imagine, how deep this betrayal runs. Shivers running down your spine, disappointment seeping through your soul. Imagine.

So please do not claim that you understand nor comprehend how we feel at all because know we know you do not. We had expected more from those whom we placed our confidence in. I expected better. I expected that someone who studied overseas would understand our plight and cause. But unfortunately and sadly, it seems we got to fight on our own.

It is said that the nail that sticks out will be hammered. Maybe, the very heart of the Malaysian dilemma runs deep down the culture and mentality of the Malaysian people. Maybe those who thought outside the box were simply denied the opportunity to exert their capabilities. Maybe those who exhibit traits of creativity and hardworking are simply forced away from the resources necessary for their grand ideas to take shape, thanks to the economic disparity and endless bureaucratic procedures of this country. Maybe every Malaysian nail that stood out were hammered away, ending up being enlisted and incorporated by the societies that can accept them, making full use of what they have to offer.

“One man’s poison is another man’s meat”

The dichotomy of the Malaysian society is simple: you either stand out too much, too long that you are no longer welcomed in your own home, or you live long enough to see yourself become the very same people that changed you into one of them. It does not take an epiphany to understand Malaysia suffers from “brain-drain” with our huge pool of talented, brilliant and far-sighted minds at our disposal siphoned away to other countries such as the UK, Australia, Singapore. Only those societies that can and willing to accept minds that are critical, creative and innovative can  have any possibilities of advancement at all. Those who do not seek to improve, can expect nothing but only regression. 

I am truly disappointed, let down, hurt. This dilemma is proving to be a very tough battle between conforming to the norms and culture of this society, or remain being the nail that sticks out that everybody takes a dig at, that everybody hates, that everybody detests. But I sincerely pray, with all my heart and soul, that I would not live long enough to see my passion, principles and beliefs engulfed and drowned, betrayed by my own conformity to the norms of this dim and depressing society.

 

- A Knowledgeable man understands his Era-

- A Wise man challenges his Era-

- A Great man creates his Era. -

 

Sincerely,

Si Tenggang the Prodigal Son…

Forgive & Forget…

 

“TRRROOOMMM!!!”

The great Oak door slammed shut. His eyes scanned across the room in an instance, held out his forearm and swept everything on the desk onto the floor, sending a loud crash that echoed for several seconds after the act.

How dare she?! How irresponsible she can be??

His was poised to present his proposal before the panel, one that he did out of commitment to his work, beliefs, ethics. It was a gruelling task that few would take pleasure in doing, fewer even would spend hours completing what was required. It wasn’t perfect, but a good job nonetheless.

But she wreck it all….

He rushed to the basin, filled it with water, and drenched himself wet by submerging his entire face in the water. Seconds later he rose and stared right into the mirror, into himself.

You need to cool down….

And cool down he did. He took several deep breaths, gently sat himself onto a nearby chair, and stayed still with his eyes closed. After minutes of total silence, he kneeled onto the damp carpet and start to pick up the items he trashed in his fit of rage.

Shouldn’t had lost my cool back there…

He could still recall the clients’ shocked expression, obviously didn’t expect the unfortunate sequence of events., seemingly demanding reasons for his sudden outburst. Almost immediately his colleague interfered and requested for a re-scheduling of the presentation. He was so angry, mad.

So what if she’s sick? That’s if she REALLY is…sick…

While he was storming out of the meeting someone tried to ease his anger, feeding him reasons of why she couldn’t complete her work in time. That barely calmed him down at all; I WOULD’VE DONE HER PART TOO IF SHE TOLD ME EARLIER, he replied.

But the reaction from those around him casted doubt in him; was my anger unwarranted?

He does have a reason to be angry, and a very good one indeed. But he lost control and let his emotions get the better of him. Even saints get angry for the right reasons!

Hell, even Jesus got pissed off and drove the hawkers off the temple!!

He has a valid and good cause to state his dissatisfaction, be it in private or public. He was wronged, humiliated, his beliefs and ethics trampled upon, reputation suffered considerable setbacks.

But “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger”…

Maybe he should just walk back in and get start on the next project. It’s almost dead certain that he’ll be taken off the team, her as well of course. He’ll have to pay for his outburst nonetheless. Maybe, he should just…

“forgive us as we forgive those who trespassed against us”??

…forgive and forget??

.

..

…

….

…..

He closed his eyes, muttered a short prayer, and set his eyes on the vast parking lot in front of the window. He made up his mind. To not cry over spilled milk, to not mend things that are beyond repair, to save whatever left worth saving.

Choose to forgive, forget, move on, and say “Apologies accepted” if she say sorry.

But what if she never say sorry?

It doesn’t matter; You’re already forgiven.

Funeral Proceedings…

“There’s no better occasion to rate a person other than man’s own funeral.“

How ironic. If you ever want to know how well you “did” as a person, it would be right at the moment the result is no longer relevant to you.

Birthdays. Baptism. Graduation. Engagement. Marriage. Job promotion. These are pits-stops or benchmarks that people often looked at rating ones own popularity, success.

“There’s no better occasion to see how far-reaching a person’s life is other than man’s own funeral.”

In our grandfathers’ days there were still those funeral procession that stretched as long as several blocks. The mourning family members, dressed in their respective colours, which symbolises their generation within the family, accompanied the dead for one last journey.

I had the privilege to be one of the mourners in such a procession. I enjoyed it. It made me felt elevated, being seen on the road by the whole neighbourhood.

“There’s no better occasion to see if one life is wasted or fulfilled other than man’s own funeral.”

I can never forget the exact moment when the undertakers sealed my grandfather’s coffin right in the living room, after everybody paid their respects. At that moment hell broke loose; my aunts wailed like there’s no tomorrow. Kids (which I then was one) were turned away for hushed into the dining room. There was only wailing.

And few hours ago I was just at some stranger’s funeral, dragged along by my parents. This young man was lying comfortably in his world. With a smile. Face swollen from his plight. He was handsome, good-looking.

“I came into the world crying when those around me rejoiced, but I hope the world rejoices when I leave the world in peace.

”But there was no wailing. Only tears. Tears of peace, joy.

If everybody gets to attend their own funeral, perhaps the world will be a better place.

Hiatus

To: You,

Hi. Firstly a big thank you to you if you have been constantly checking up on my blog to see if there's any new posts lately. I'm sorry that I have not been producing much for your leisure. And now, I am announcing that I am taking an indefinite break from blogging.

It is amazing to think back how I started blogging and how constant I was. Blogging these poems and stories are my way of dealing with the up's & down's in life. This blog is my therapist. But at present I am struggling on many fronts; emotionally & spiritually, as a person. There are many things and issues that occurred lately which compels me to reconsider my own state of mind and roles I need to start take responsibilities for.

I also wish to explore various others things in life, trying my hands on different tasks apart from keeping this blog. Hence, I do not know when and where I will start writing again. I only pray that when I do write again, you will be there, waiting faithfully to read what I have to offer.

Yours truly,

David

Homecomingphobia…

 

Hello, my name is….

I am scared, worried sick even. Fearful, to some extent, at the prospect of a supposingly long awaited homecoming, of returning to a whole brave new world I left behind three autumns ago, of what that life had become.

I left that world full of anticipation; some came true, many exceeded beyond my imagination. There were some disappointments along the way, but none less important than the other. This world is part of my being, both the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I used to look forward to go back home, back to what I left. But now uncertainty shrouds this hopefulness. The uncertainty of what remained as it was and what that changed, of chances that lie in patience and those that galloped never looking back, of familiar faces that hung back and of those that moved on in my absence.

Sometimes I wish, that in this next phase of my life, I am leaving for a brand new place, to a place that I know no one and nobody knows me.

I suppose I won’t return unchanged, untainted, unhurt from all these seasons. Certainly they would also be so? I am sorry if I appear to be distanced, detached, passive even, for sometimes I truly think that no place remains the same forever. Apart from the brilliant memories I’ve collected here, I have also brought back the pain and disappointments.

Life here and there would definitely be different. Lectures will be different; people will be different; expectations will be different; relationship will be different. The main question is: how do I cope with them? I know one thing for sure; everything starts anew.

If you should receive me, remember that I am no longer the same son, student, teacher, friend or companion that you sent off 36 months ago. I return not as a better or improved version of the old. I return as a brand new person. If you should receive me, see me through untainted glasses. Or better, get to know me as if I’m a stranger you met for the first time, sitting quietly right at the corner of the pub, toasting himself to his own health. If you should receive me, come and know me again.

For I would also see you in a different light, through a brand new glasses call “experience”, getting to know you for a first time through these lens. If you are terrified, just bear in mind that I am ten times more afraid than you.

If you truly love me….please, bear with me.

谈

Virgo1755 (02:13 a.m): 喂？在吗？ 摩羯0126  (02:24 a.m): 嗯.… Virgo1755 (02:24 a.m): 你怎么啦？还好吧？ Virgo1755 (02:28 a.m): 不是病了吧!? Virgo1755 (02:30 a.m): 我还是去你家一趟看看你 摩羯0126  (02:31 a.m): 不用了，我很好，没事 Virgo1755 (02:31 a.m): 你怎么啦？怪怪的？                    难道姑妈来访？ 摩羯0126  (02:31 a.m): 呸！刚走去看你了！ Virgo1755 (02:32 a.m): 和你玩玩而已… *WMP开始播放：辛晓琪 – 我也会爱上别人 Virgo1755 (02:34 a.m): 喂…别气了，只想让你高兴些… 摩羯0126  (02:37 a.m): 知道你是为我好... Virgo1755 (02:37 a.m): 就知道你不会那么小器… Virgo1755 (02:40 a.m): 明天预告天气会很好，要不一起去爬山？ Virgo1755 (02:43 a.m): 喂？不是睡了吧？ 摩羯0126  (02:45 a.m): … Virgo1755 (02:45 a.m): 怎么静静地，不说话？ 摩羯0126  (02:47 a.m): 我们分手吧 Virgo1755 (02:47 a.m): 真是的，这也拿来开玩笑。 摩羯0126  (02:47 a.m): 我是认真的                    我好累，好烦 摩羯0126  (02:50 a.m): 不用打给我了，我是不会接的 Virgo1755 (02:52 a.m): 我们不是好好的吗？                    你这算什么？                    说放手就放手吗？ Virgo1755 (02:55 a.m): 你究竟有在乎过我吗？ 摩羯0126  (02:55 a.m): 我们的却曾经很快乐，很舒服                    你很好，是我自己不好 摩羯0126  (02:56 a.m): 只是…现在我需要的，你给不到。 *WMP播放完毕：辛晓琪 – 我也会爱上别人 Virgo1755 (02:58 a.m): 我们在一起多久了？ 摩羯0126  (02:59 a.m): 一辈子 Virgo1755 (02:59 a.m): 一辈子…又是多久呢？ 摩羯0126  (03:00 a.m): 一下子 Virgo1755 (03:02 a.m): 我明白了                    多谢你坦白 摩羯0126  (03:04 a.m): 你这首歌真好听 Virgo1755 (03:05 a.m): 嗯…我也很喜欢这首歌                    我下线了，保重 摩羯0126  (03:06 a.m): 谢谢你 *Virgo1755 (03:06 a.m)下线了 摩羯0126  (03:07 a.m): 对不起

U.&.I – Part V

 

It has barely dawned, but he is already up, walking down the little pathway behind the house. This is a little mountain pathway that leads to the summit of a hill approximately half a mile away from the house. Old habits die hard; without any intention of going anywhere, his morning routine is what he does when he needs to think alone.

Up for a little walk?

As he walks he recalls a Catholic retreat centre he visited years ago. There was also a pathway, a hill like this. Along the pathways that leads to the top are memorial plaques, stories of the Crucifixion engraved upon them. Pilgrims often journey up the pathway meditating on the Christ’s final moments of his life.

This hill does not have plaques set along its path, but almost every one-two hundred yards there will be a shrine-like stones set up right next to the path. There are now occasional noises here and there, contrasting the dead silence when he first began his journey.

At least I’m not alone.

Someone once told him that the world is divided into two: those who think, and those who do. The smart and critical thinks a lot, while the pragmatic and practical just…do. But great men transcends this divide; they think and do. All he had done was think, think and think.

An old idea crept back into his mind, if only…would things have been different? If he had taken the initiative, things might never be the same again. But, can he transcend  himself and move out of his comfort zone, and actually try doing something?

Unfortunately, time is not a luxury that I have.

He heard that they broke up, again. Thinking that it might just some lovey-dovey quarrel between those two, he didn’t pay much attention to it. But when she dropped by intoxicated, both eyes swollen, he knew that the rumours were true. She wept throughout the night without uttering a single word. Sitting next to her, he was wrapped up in his own thoughts.

By this time the pathway becomes steeper and more obscured, but he continues on. More sunlight has punctured the thick tropical canopy above him, lightening up his surroundings. But remnants of the morning dew is still visible around him. Taking a break, he drops himself to the ground, with his eyes fixated on the empty opening right before him.

Would you…allow me…Have you ever…?

At that moment he feels the weight of his cross necklace wearing him down. The burden and weight of the choices he has to make is crushing him. Should he avoid pain of rejection and opt for the safety net of friendship but risks eternal regret? Or should he call ALL IN and bet everything on this opening. Should he, be optimistic or pragmatic?

He picks himself up holding onto the tree bark he is resting on, feeling reinvigorate after that short break. But his mind remains restless, as he walks along the path that seems to gradually fade away. Then the path seemingly assimilated into the surroundings. But at this point he can see a small visitor hut that stands out silently and firmly in stillness about 50 yards away. 

Would you let all these pass from me, or bear it wholehearted with me?

At this time the sun has fully emerged, evaporating and dispelling the dew and the mists. The forest awakes from its slumber, with birds chirping and squirrels running up and down the trees. Then he notices that there is something engraved on the floor.

“I lift my eyes to the hills,

where shall my help come from?”

He looks up trying to see as far as he can, then realises that he is yet at the top of the hill. This is merely halfway point of the journey. But there is no more path ahead, which means this little voyage has to come to an end. But who is he to say that there is no more way?

He smiles as he ponders upon those words. He is nearly at his journey’s end, but not just yet. There is still a little fight left in him.

There will be a way.

U.&.I – Part VI

 

“What a day it is, to see you drink, and at this time of the day too”, a voice came from behind. Not bothering to look, he held up his tankard and start downing his pint.

The bar was fairly empty, with only a few customers sitting at the corner talking silently. The only music filling the emptiness was a song playing on the music player. Issac’s a big fan of Elvis’.

“mi so Do ti- Do ti---mi so ti la- ti la“

“It’s never a good sign, drinking yourself into oblivion,” the newcomer said as he walked around the counter. It was Issac. He wrapped the apron around his waist, adding, “and before you reach there, make sure you clear out your tabs. Oii Melainie!”

The young bar girl came over and he dismissed her for the day. Before she left she shoved a piece of paper into his palms. Issac gave a loud sigh, then a long paused followed. As for him, his eyes was fixed at the tankard which both of his hands were wrapping around.

“mi so la so- mi la so- fa la“

“What’s wrong?” Issac broke the long silence. “What is a man like you doing here at a day like this?” He reached out and gently prised the fingers that were tightly clenched around it. Within seconds Issac brewed a strong Earl Grey, no milk and no sugar, added with two thin slice of lemon. Issac placed it in his hands.

“That’s for your head. You’ve been drinking enough ration for a month,” Issac bickered again. By this time a group of customers entered the bar. Issac promptly moved over to take their orders. For once, some quiet and peace.

“fa la Do ti- Do ti--- fa so ti la- ti la-“

The Earl Grey in his hand smelled really…refreshing. He took a sip, and decided that it was good. His head became much clearer but at the same time that ache inside his heart grew much painful. Smirking, he thinks, the anaesthetic must be wearing off.

And what a day, and what a way to die, he muttered to himself. It might be destiny, to receive that devastating news a fortnight into the second month. How long has it been since he was last invited to an engagement party? Lizts’ or Alvin’s? But this is one engagement party that he never hope that he’ll live long enough to attend.

 “re mi fa so la Do ti- so mi---“

He took another sip of his tea, and it felt more soothing than ever. Isaac walked back towards him as he finished attending to the customers. “What kind of magic did you add into this cup?”, he asked.

Issac smiled at his bewildered look, and was glad that he liked it.

“My father used to make it for me every time I’m out of my game. He said a teabag of Earl Grey, a cup of hot water, and two slices of lemon will lift up the lowest of the spirits,” Issac declared proudly.

 “so la ti la so Do la- Do so fa mi fa---“

“It’s really good,” he said after taking another sip. Half of the cup was already emptied. 

“Apparently it was his first love who taught him that trick”.

“I believe this…first love of his…she isn’t your mom?”

“Hah, no of course. My father never forgot about her, I think,” Issac was now cleaning the jugs and the tankards. “But mind you, that doesn’t mean my father don’t love my mom. Its just that…first love are hard to forget. Hell, my mom won’t drink any liquor my father make for her; she only loved the his Earl Grey and lemon the most…”

“la ti Do ti la Re ti- Re la so fa so---“

Issac then bended over and whispered in his ears, “Apparently, with ladies, you can get away with anything just by making yourself her cup of tea.”

Both of them then roared into laughter, and that was the first time he felt lightweight in days, not worn down by disappointments and grieve.

“Thanks, Issac. For the tea, and the pick-me-up,” he said while pulling out his credit card, and then settled his tab with Issac. He then picked up his cup of tea and drained it down to the very last drop, and placed it back onto the table. After cleaning himself up, he sat there waiting for Issac to finish attending to the customers.

“mi so Do ti- Do ti---Do Re Mi Re- Mi Re-“

“I always wonder how you do that…being able to understand others without them uttering a word. It’s a truly remarkable gift.”

“I’m no psychic, but hell, my father was a man, and so am I,” Issac smiled, “I believe you have now a life to get back to?”

“Yeah, I do. There’s no way to back out after such a splendid cup of tea,” now brimming in confidence, he stood up and left a better man.

“so la Do ti la ti Do Re-Do---“

There’s no way else to go except upwards.

U.&.I – Part III

*thu-thump*

She just need to reach out her arms, but even then he seems miles apart. So static. Time flows, but seems to flow around them. She wished that moment could last longer.

*thump**thu-thump*

“I’m going that way, what about you?”, he said while rubbing both his palms together. It was really cold, vapour escapes his trap as he spoke. Weirdly, her face was burning. She attributes it to the shot of Malibu she just drank minutes earlier.This scene seems all to familiar, almost deja-vu. She knew it but can’t say for sure.

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump*

“I gotta catch my ride on the other end…”, to her it felt like forever to concoct her response. Something seems to grow in her mind. She tries to remember, but nothing is coming back to her.

Trying to ignore that feeling, she continued, “Guess this is it?”

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump*

“Its all been too good, too good to be true…What won’t I give to stay behind?”. He chuckled as he uttered those words.

Why won’t you stay behind then?

A prolonged period of silence followed, only interjected by the noise from the traffic. He wore a look on his face like someone that is searching hard for the correct words.

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump*

“Too bad this is not what I need now. I need a reset.”

“Let’s keep in touch eh? Drop by if you happen to come over…”

Masking the fact that her tears are at the verge of falling, she remained silent and smiled back, indicating that she would.

He replied in silent, then turned to leave. As he walked away, she set her eyes on his back, getting smaller by the second, more and more unreachable, slipping away from her.

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump*

Won’t you give me one last look?

She couldn’t hold back any longer, the loss finally overwhelms her determination. Not wanting to allow herself too much tears, she wiped her eyes and look up once more.

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump**thump*

He was staring back from afar. That moment she recalled, it was on this same street. He was walking towards her, and she towards him. The first time she met him, the first time she spoke to him, the first time she fell for him.

Looking at her from afar one last time, he smiled, waved his hands, and walked away. This time he didn’t look back again. But she was satisfied. He was thinking about the same thing too.

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump**thump*

Standing right at the spot where everything began, everything ends. She turned around and walked away, leaving nothing but drops of tears on the grey pavement, leaving with a piece of his heart in hers, and hers in him.

                               *thu-thump*                *thu-thump*                              

*thump**thu-thump**thump**thu-thump*

*thump*thump**thu-thump*

*thu-thump*

*thu*

 

U.&.I. – Part II

“Hey, how has it been?”

Mary passed a pint of Stella Artois over to her while she tries to fit herself in the already crowed sofa. The others, are either cheerfully or depressingly singing themselves away at the karaoke set. They were now singing Queens’ We are the champion.

“That’s the fifth time they’re singing this tonight”

She took up her pint of beer saying, “Don’t they sing any other songs?”

“There are if you’re a fan of Bon Jovi’s Have a nice day or Scoprions’ Wind of Change..”

“Oh my, tomorrow is going to be Hangover’s Day for everybody…”

Both girls broke a laughter that was barely audible masked by the deafening voices of their colleagues. It seemed that they needed this little stress reliever. The whole team was stressed out for the past two weeks handling the Nexus project assigned to them. Calculation were normal, but most of the team had to go into the field and collect data. To their credit, the takeover process was smooth as silk. That’s why they were all here tonight, celebrating, all cost under the company’s tab.

“So what’s the plan for the weekend?”

“Owh, erm…probably on the couch watching some rented movies…”

“Wow, is that all you gonna do? Your aggressive boyfriend won’t like it since you passed on every single opportunity to go for lunch this whole week…”

She almost spilled her beer, choked a little, before Mary handed her a tissue.

“Now…”, still recovering, she said, “he’s not my boyfriend…Just an old friend I knew back in my teens…”

“Isn’t he a persistent one? You could actually consider him..”

“No way, he’s just…a friend…”

She poured herself a bit of beer out of a different mug, taking a sip of it. Realising that she liked that better than the earlier one, she poured herself a pint full of it, drowned away nearly half of it in a gulp.

“Owh my, you sure you aren’t in any trouble?”

“No…it’s just that I’m kinda *hiccup*…appy…and *hiccup* at the same time…”

“Anybody would…him coming every single day asking you out for lunch. Well, not entirely good looking but he’s passionate. Only you would give him a pass. If I were you…”

“Hey Mary!! Come over here, you need to sing too!!” Some voice apparently transpired the small crowd in front of the television.

“Alright!! Will be there shortly!! Pre-emptive song selection: If Tomorrow Never Comes for me please!!”

Seeing her now lying half-asleep on the couch, Mary took her winter jacket and wrapped around her warmly, making sure that she’s comfortable before moving towards the others joining in the fun.

*hiccup* If tomorrow never co…*hiccup*…mes…*hiccup*

*hiccup*Would you know *hiccup* how much *hiccup* love you? *hiccup*

U.&.I. - Part I

“Come on! Again? Don’t you have anything to do? Don’t you have a career?”

“Come one! Didn’t you know I’m making see you my career?”

Always and ever cheerful. Never seemed bothered or busy. Didn’t he work for Ernest & Young? Didn’t know they have so much free time.

“I see you almost every day!”, she said while picking up the stack of files from her messy desk, then walked towards the conference room. He greeted her colleagues as they moved along the corridor.

“For God’s sake! You live just two blocks away and you carpool with me!” Pushing the door open with her left shoulder, she let herself and him into the room.

“If you don’t mind…”

He took half of the stack from her arms, then began to lay the files before each seat. As diligent as she always is, she laid the files and arranged them neatly on the table, before turning to the computer checking that everything is in order.

“I take from your silence that we’ll be heading out to Vester’s? I know they serve real good….”

“You should take from my silence that I’m occupied and busy!” She threw him an angry look.

Always so smooth sailing in life, graduated top in class from an Ivy college in accountings, getting numerous job offers without effort, then got accepted straight into the prestigious E&Y’s Financial department. Wondered how such a laid-back, lazy, slouch-like guy could be so blessed. Won’t surprise her if he come clean one day admitting that he has a guardian fairy.

As for her, she had to work her socks off every single day at the local university just to pay off her tuition fees. Now, she’s just a small timer designer trying to make an impression to her team leader.

“Come on! Just this once? Please?”

“Huh…I can’t. I’ve got presentation this after lunch. That’s why I’m doing all this.”

Now sulking and looking disappointed, he said, “Huh…Alright, I know, guess I won’t get my long awaited lunch…”,

“Just go.”

“…probably should just grab a quick sandwich down at the cafe.”

Ignoring him she continued to work, now arranging her presentation notes.

“Oh great, now the infamous silence treatment.”

Still ignoring him, she booted her laptop and started typing.

“I guess I should go now.”

*Silence*Fingers typing*Silence*Fingers typing*

*Door creaking* *Door closes*