U.&.I. – Part II

“Hey, how has it been?”

Mary passed a pint of Stella Artois over to her while she tries to fit herself in the already crowed sofa. The others, are either cheerfully or depressingly singing themselves away at the karaoke set. They were now singing Queens’ We are the champion.

“That’s the fifth time they’re singing this tonight”

She took up her pint of beer saying, “Don’t they sing any other songs?”

“There are if you’re a fan of Bon Jovi’s Have a nice day or Scoprions’ Wind of Change..”

“Oh my, tomorrow is going to be Hangover’s Day for everybody…”

Both girls broke a laughter that was barely audible masked by the deafening voices of their colleagues. It seemed that they needed this little stress reliever. The whole team was stressed out for the past two weeks handling the Nexus project assigned to them. Calculation were normal, but most of the team had to go into the field and collect data. To their credit, the takeover process was smooth as silk. That’s why they were all here tonight, celebrating, all cost under the company’s tab.

“So what’s the plan for the weekend?”

“Owh, erm…probably on the couch watching some rented movies…”

“Wow, is that all you gonna do? Your aggressive boyfriend won’t like it since you passed on every single opportunity to go for lunch this whole week…”

She almost spilled her beer, choked a little, before Mary handed her a tissue.

“Now…”, still recovering, she said, “he’s not my boyfriend…Just an old friend I knew back in my teens…”

“Isn’t he a persistent one? You could actually consider him..”

“No way, he’s just…a friend…”

She poured herself a bit of beer out of a different mug, taking a sip of it. Realising that she liked that better than the earlier one, she poured herself a pint full of it, drowned away nearly half of it in a gulp.

“Owh my, you sure you aren’t in any trouble?”

“No…it’s just that I’m kinda *hiccup*…appy…and *hiccup* at the same time…”

“Anybody would…him coming every single day asking you out for lunch. Well, not entirely good looking but he’s passionate. Only you would give him a pass. If I were you…”

“Hey Mary!! Come over here, you need to sing too!!” Some voice apparently transpired the small crowd in front of the television.

“Alright!! Will be there shortly!! Pre-emptive song selection: If Tomorrow Never Comes for me please!!”

Seeing her now lying half-asleep on the couch, Mary took her winter jacket and wrapped around her warmly, making sure that she’s comfortable before moving towards the others joining in the fun.

*hiccup* If tomorrow never co…*hiccup*…mes…*hiccup*

*hiccup*Would you know *hiccup* how much *hiccup* love you? *hiccup*

U.&.I. - Part I

“Come on! Again? Don’t you have anything to do? Don’t you have a career?”

“Come one! Didn’t you know I’m making see you my career?”

Always and ever cheerful. Never seemed bothered or busy. Didn’t he work for Ernest & Young? Didn’t know they have so much free time.

“I see you almost every day!”, she said while picking up the stack of files from her messy desk, then walked towards the conference room. He greeted her colleagues as they moved along the corridor.

“For God’s sake! You live just two blocks away and you carpool with me!” Pushing the door open with her left shoulder, she let herself and him into the room.

“If you don’t mind…”

He took half of the stack from her arms, then began to lay the files before each seat. As diligent as she always is, she laid the files and arranged them neatly on the table, before turning to the computer checking that everything is in order.

“I take from your silence that we’ll be heading out to Vester’s? I know they serve real good….”

“You should take from my silence that I’m occupied and busy!” She threw him an angry look.

Always so smooth sailing in life, graduated top in class from an Ivy college in accountings, getting numerous job offers without effort, then got accepted straight into the prestigious E&Y’s Financial department. Wondered how such a laid-back, lazy, slouch-like guy could be so blessed. Won’t surprise her if he come clean one day admitting that he has a guardian fairy.

As for her, she had to work her socks off every single day at the local university just to pay off her tuition fees. Now, she’s just a small timer designer trying to make an impression to her team leader.

“Come on! Just this once? Please?”

“Huh…I can’t. I’ve got presentation this after lunch. That’s why I’m doing all this.”

Now sulking and looking disappointed, he said, “Huh…Alright, I know, guess I won’t get my long awaited lunch…”,

“Just go.”

“…probably should just grab a quick sandwich down at the cafe.”

Ignoring him she continued to work, now arranging her presentation notes.

“Oh great, now the infamous silence treatment.”

Still ignoring him, she booted her laptop and started typing.

“I guess I should go now.”

*Silence*Fingers typing*Silence*Fingers typing*

*Door creaking* *Door closes*

Post

It took me quite a while, thinking about what to write for my 100th post on my blog. Maybe, for once, I should just write some ramblings like what people usually do on their blogs for a change. Couldn’t quite believe after nearly 5 years into blogging, I’m only about to reach a century of posts.

But certainly, I do take my time in everything. Probably too much and too often. Well, life’s about making mistakes and paying dearly for them afterwards. A romantic would say, give in everything to your passion, and enjoy the aesthetics of life, appreciate the beauty of beauty. A pragmatist would reply, be practical, work hard, play hard and live hard. A modernist, would simply refute both, and claim that life is not what they think is, and nobody is equipped with the correct definition of it.

I can’t provide you a definite explanation either. But allow me to try. Life’s more like a dream within a dream. There was once I found myself in one of the coffee shops back home in M’sia, eating my favourite dish, siting in one of those big round tables, helping myself to the splendid food and drinks. But then, I asked myself how I ended up being there. Funnily enough, I couldn’t recall catching a train to London, nor a flight from the UK back to M’sia.

At that instance, I realised, I was dreaming.

Then there was once I found myself leaving a building, for whatever reasons I couldn’t recall. But at the entrance I encountered several primary school friends, friends that I’ve not seen for years. We chat, spoke and joke for quite some time, until someone came up to me and said, “You gave me something before you left, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me yourself?” Taken aback, I realised she wasn’t there a minute earlier before. Feeling my face going red in embarrassment, then I woke up.  

Dream within a dream. Isn't life life within a life? Just as there are different “scenes” between dreams, you get different “landmarks” in life. Just like dreams, sometimes life gets ridiculous, illogical, yet at times reflect the upmost, deepest desire and longings that’s very well hidden. Unlike the romantics, I cannot always express whatever is inside. Unlike the pragmatics, sometimes I need to petrify myself with fantasies and dreams. Unlike the modernists, though uncertainty is fine, there are always qualities, such as friendship and kinship, that remains constant and unchanged.

This “post” is merely another landmark, to determine where I am now, and to decide which way to move on towards. My journey from the first posting till the 100th has been a truly remarkable experience. Many a times, it’s just like a dream within a dream, scenes within scenes. But I’m truly glad, to have reached here and now, and to move forward again soon.

Luna & Venus

He has lived to see better nights. The sky tonight is dark, and the moon, is presumably hidden by the dark nimbus clouds. What is left visible through the dark veil is only a little bright shining star, glimmering out of the abyss of darkness in the sky. Someone once told him, that star is actually Venus. It is also called the Evening Star.

He knows her long enough that there is far more graver situation that needs his immediate attention than the stars. Rushing upon the stairs, he strived towards his destination as fast as his legs could carry him, almost taking 2, even 3 steps at the time.

“Sorry, I’m late…I brought you something spe-“

Whatever excuses he thought might be sufficient, there is no helping it. There she is, resting her arms onto the railing of the overhead bridge, overlooking the busy traffic in the double lane roads beneath. Somebody once said that you can read a lot from one’s body language. She looks like she could just crumble at any second.

What’s left in her that prevents a total collapse?

Walking up next to her, he folded his arm and lean onto the railing. The cold breeze brushes gently onto his face while he admires the long, red serpent-like creature that crawls and slithers slowly beneath him. Stretching his view as far as possible towards his left without turning his head, he sees two streams of tears flowing down her cheeks. As she remains still and oblivious to his arrival, he lets out a short sigh.

For the next minute, the only thing in motion is the red dragon below them.

“Why so quiet?”

“What’s wrong with silence? Silence, at times, could be a good comforter.” 

“Well, some ladies would prefer a more ‘aggressive’ comforting than this!”

Upon finishing her sentence, she turns her head towards him, and looks intensely into his eyes. She smiles while awaiting for his reply.

Right then he feels that he would give up the whole world for another look of hers in like this. And he would not avert his eyes for anything that is less angelic than the sight that is currently beholding his eyes.

Sensing no reply, she turns 90 degrees towards him, with the left side of her body leaning on the railing. Her right hand, is placed behind her back, presumably holding onto the edge of her blouse, which is a little habit of hers.

“No wonder you’re still single to this day. When was it that you went out for a date?”

“I would like to believe that I’m still young, in my prime, and time is a precious luxury that I can still afford. You don’t get to be young forever.”

“Well, you’re NOT really young anymore…”

Replacing both her arms onto the railing again, she reverts back to the position he found her in earlier. Suddenly, she straightens  up in a jerk, turns around and points  towards him, face bewildered, trying to express some kind of epiphany that has just descent upon her.

“I know…you like GUYS!”

“Wha…”

All that follows after is her own ruckus laughing uncontrollably, with her right hand covering over her mouth.  As if a disease spreading around, he follows suit and laughs as well.

“Ah…this is so funny!”

Upon saying this she rubs her eyes. He knows, there is still sorrow hidden behind that facade. Behind every brave face, there’s always this sad clown.

“I must say, thank you very much. You are a good man, a good friend.”

Deep down his heart rejoiced and mourned this pleasant yet devastating statement.

“For? I’m not going to buy you supper.”

“We might as well go get some. And yes, you ARE going to buy me supper!”

“I thought you are supposed  to show me some gratitude?”

“Yes I am, that’s why I’m buying you alcohol while you buy me supper, deal?”

“If my memory serves me well, I bought you lunch in China Town two days ago.”

“Race you to the Gardens then. Loser pays for everything!”

Without waiting for his reply, she turns and runs down the stairs, leaving him alone behind, still leaning both arms on the railing.

He looks up to the starry sky, and realised that the full moon is now visible, no longer hidden by the dark clouds. But the Evening Star, Venus, is nowhere to be seen.

She would still need time, to mend the wounds and the pain. But she is strong. Strong enough to shine through those invisible barriers. With help of course, with sacrifice that Venus would gladly give up, for another sight, another view of the splendid, magnificent and beautiful full moon.

Could both the moon and the Evening Star co-exist in one beautiful night sky? Nobody knows. Only time would tell.

安抚与自疗

天色阴暗，乌云满天。只见约有五六颗星星逃避了乌云的遮盖，狂热的燃烧，发光。

他边跑边喘着气，爬上楼梯。

“对不起，我迟到了。但我带了…”还没说完，眼见她垂头丧气，双臂在栏杆上的捧着那憔悴的身子。天桥下的车子来来往往，一列列的红灯、金光犹如大江的急流。

看来雨过了但天未晴。

每当她在感情上、事业上、甚至家庭里碰钉子，都会一个人跑到这里。虽然如此，这可是他第一次是受约而来的。

叹了一口气，走到她右边，学她一模一样，俯身躺在栏杆上。偷偷地斜望了她一眼，只见脸颊上流着两条小溪，双眼目不转睛望着远方的乌云随风而飘。

双方都不说话，都不出声，双方都不想打破僵局。

“怎么来了，却不说话呢？”她终于开口，转向他微微苦笑。

“你约我来，难道就是要听我说话吗？”看她笑得太勉强，心里不禁难受，接着道：“安静也可以是个很好的安慰。”

“哈哈哈…女人的特权就是要男人安慰，说好听的呀！”

此刻一望她那诚恳的笑声、由心而发的笑容，顿时让他解去许多心中的不安。

见他只是望着自己微微笑，什么也不说，就道：“难怪你到现在都没女生喜欢。都那么大年纪了，女朋友一个都没。”

“这样不是很好吗？自由自在的，我行我素啊！要做什么就做什么，要去那里就去哪里，没人管我，只有我管人。”

“难道，你喜欢…”说到一半，不禁笑出声来。这时见他迷糊的样子，提起无名指指着他接着说：“你一定是喜欢男人！”说完了，又哈哈大笑。

听了这番话，顿时也不知要说什么，也就陪她一起大笑。

如果真的喜欢男人，我才不会在这陪着你了。

“啊…笑得出泪了！”此时心想，她一定又触动了那些伤心事，心中难过，不禁流泪。她右手擦一擦双眼，抹去眼泪。

“真得谢你呀。那么晚了，还约你到这样的地方消费时间，浪费光阴。”她把手搭在他肩膀上，又说：“真够朋友！”

不由自己的，他心中有如被刺一般。

“一起去吃宵夜吧！我好饿！照旧，我请喝，你请吃！”

“那么不公平！这不是占我便宜吗？”

“哪…先到的拿主意！”话还没说完，她转身就跑了。

看着她奔跑的背影，心中悲喜交加。转身又搭在栏杆上，望着依然繁忙的大道。心中有意成全她，特意怠慢，故意输给她。

他可真大方，宁可牺牲自己心深处的感觉，用来弥补她心灵的皮外伤。但真正的伤口，可得让时间慢慢医治。

此时有如海湾的新月逃出了乌云的遮盖，乌云却把那五六颗星星盖了。虽然她未能完全把心事放下，心情却是好多了。他不禁自问，这个夜晚，这个地方，这些对白，究竟是为了安抚她，还是为了自疗伤处？